The Girl In the Blue Shirt

Over the weekend I went to a surprise party for a good friend of mine. She was surprised and I was too late to see it but she seemed thrilled and that's all I could ask for.

Meanwhile, another friend of hers was there. I hadn't seen this girl in several years and when I asked her how she was doing, I got the basic "alright". But, she wasn't alright. Not by a long shot. I could see it in her eyes and in her body language. I saw myself and how I behaved a few years ago now. Probably around the last time I had seen her. Her boyfriend was nowhere to be found and a little birdie mentioned that things were rocky between them. This is nothing new, from what I recall. When she said "alright", the look was haunting... almost as if she didn't recognize me. But, she did.

Sometimes it's scary when you see some of who you used to be in someone else's eyes. It wasn't that she didn't recognize me, she simply doesn't know who to be, she probably doesn't recognize herself. She's his and that's what she's used to being. If he's no longer in the picture, who does that make her? He's probably her connection to herself, how she relates to everyone else is who he expects her to be... real or imagined, I'm not sure. Conditioned on her own or by him, can't fully say though I have my guesses. Usually there's a mix of the two, it takes two to tango after all.

She stood alone in a room full of near strangers though they didn't have to be. But what was there to talk about with these people? When someone is not clear on themselves, it's nearly impossible to be clear with anyone else. The girl in the blue shirt needed a hug and I wanted to give it to her. Whether I'm right or wrong, either way... those eyes were sad.