Sent In Error

I was planning to write a certain blog today. I will save that for Monday, I think. Right now, I'm pretty sad. Although the other blog idea was kind of sad too.

The cutest boy ever is officially going to have to be removed from my life. I've said that I was going to end it before but he did something yesterday that absolutely crushed my spirit. And my spirit was doing very, very well when this happened.

You know, text messages are easy, not difficult (once you get used to sending them), and a great way to keep in touch with those around you. Little blips into each other's lives. An easy way to keep in touch. And a great way to make quick plans.

However, they can also drop you down quickly - really quickly when they are sent in error.

Did he mean to invite me to the party? No... it was sent to the wrong girl. Same name and everything. But, the wrong one. Did I get a pity invite? Uh-huh. Am I going? Nah. I have to work anyway. Did he apologize? Not yet... and I don't think I'm going to hold my breath on this one. Did he still try to make sure everything was ok on his terms? Yes. Did it work? I don't think so. Does he think too little of me for me to maintain contact? I think so.

And that is humiliating. Worst part is how highly I thought of him...

The Boss Gave Me A Compliment

"She was complaining about not getting along with you. I knew at that time something was wrong. So... I wanted to hear it from you." (She barely gets along with anyone... )

A compliment on a few levels.

This felt really good.

A full blog tomorrow... I have something to say but I'm still trying to shape it.

Pine Sol and Scrubbing Bubbles

Yesterday was almost a success. The house is getting it's good cleaning though I took breaks to talk on the phone for some time twice. And I don't particularly like the phone... at all. Strange, I guess I don't like cleaning my parents' house even more.

The smell of uber clean is so good. The Pine Sol and the Scrubbing Bubbles and the carpet deodorizer all combine to scream out to the visitor "I AM BATHED"... just wish it were more regularly. Once I have my own place... ahh... the reward of those smells will not pass by me very often.

And... yes... I did clean out my car last night. Felt good. Very good. Though it did remind me of a few other things that need to be done. And those things are currently sitting in my frontseat as reminders to me. (A few books to be donated and stuff...)

Other good news... got an "A" in Spanish... yay!

Clutter

If you were to get into my car... you would not believe (at the moment) that I hate clutter and mess. If you were to see my third floor bedroom, you would not believe it at all. However (finger raised in the air) this is not so. In fact, I will clean out my car tonight just to prove it.

Here's the thing that brings this up:

My parents are clutter people. Granted, my mother is bipolar as am I. And I once read that clutter is just one sign of the bipolar mind. But, my dad? I don't know why he rarely throws anything away. Neither of them do. And it's driving me insane. I can't take it much longer. But, I also can't make them be different than they are. It is their house, after all.

So... I will make a pact with you, my dear readers. And with myself. The next two months or so will be spent doing my usual stuff but my downtime will be going through the stuff I have, taking inventory, and getting rid of those things which I do not need or want.

The Five Year Plan

I was shaking... and a mess... and it's embarrassing when the cop asks you if you're ok because you bumped the horn during the process of getting your stuff out. Honestly, getting pulled over last night feels like a warning to me. And I better take it seriously. I do believe I will. It really, really scared me. I wasn't drunk but I was slightly buzzed. And he knew it.

The engagement party was great. Alot of fun and I was happy for my bud and her girl. It's awesome to see something so good unfolding in front of one's eyes. And I was announced as my bud's best friend. That was flattering too.

Yesterday morning I was walking to and from the bathroom at work and I got to thinking. What about kids? Don't I want them? When will I have them? I still stand by the idea that I will only have them with someone who's just right for me. I'm not going to settle for someone who I'm not crazy about just to have one or two little ones in my life. However, there's still a whole lotta life I want to live before I pop any out. I really want to do some traveling and I'm finally serious about having a career that I want. So... I decided I'm going to postpone worrying about having babies in my life until I am 34. That gives me a full five years to stretch and breath. And do for me. Plus, there's no mans in the immediate future anyway. And if I'm going to get married to someone, I want to be with them a minimum of three years before we walk down that aisle.

So... yeah... I was thinking about this yesterday.

The Triple A Guy

What does the title say?

Mine eyes are really heavy. Tis because I am tired. Which is nothing new - especially on the weekends and Mondays.

So far the weekend has been a really, really good time. Friday I took a half day from work and then I went to Beauty Bar in NY with a friend of mine. We didn't get home until four in the morning and she had to call out from work but it was completely worth it. And I spent most of the night hanging out with a cutie. I gave him some contact info. We'll see... only problem is the hour and a half to two hour commute between us. (I should say "only problem so far".) I think I'd be happy to talk to him again. And I was impressed with the fact that both he and his friend paid for my friend and I through the rest of the evening. Overall, they were gentlemen.

Yesterday I woke up late. (Getting in at 4AM does not usually mean an early start to the day.) And then I had to listen to my parents bickering non-stop. Part of it was about me. And though I kept saying "it's no big deal - really", I was ignored. And those are moments when it slams me... again. I NEED TO MOVE OUT. My relationship with my parents is feeling strained right now. It's just simply time for me to go. I can't wait.

I really, really can't.

My niece's birthday party yesterday proved to be enjoyable. Though I have to admit, it's weird to be so single. So often. Being the only one this way (at family parties) stinks at times still. However, at least I had my camera to play with yesterday.

Tonight I'm headed to an engagement party. That should be awesome too.

And the title says "the AAA guy". Get it now?

Shifting Conciousness

I like so therefore I post...

Shifting consciousness

"The world we are experiencing today is the result of our collective consciousness, and if we want a new world, each of us must start taking responsibility for helping create it."

-- Rosemary Fillmore Rhea

Below are 7 levels of consciousness that clearly outline a path for our evolving consciousness:

- tribal and mass consciousness - one obeys the group and lives by trial and error
- individual consciousness - one develops a stronger sense of self and ego
- seeker’s consciousness - one asks questions and seeks independence
- intuitive consciousness - one develops the heart and is becoming spiritually aware
- group consciousness - one serves a higher good filling the needs of others
- soul consciousness - one experiences spiritual service.

On which level do you spend most of your time? What are you doing to shift to the next level of being?

There are as many paths to understanding, awareness, peace, freedom, love and meaningful service as there are people. Enjoy your journey!

"Consciousness is not just some by-product of the human brain mass. Consciousness is all pervasive. It is in everything and is everywhere. Your individual human consciousness exists within and is a part of a universal consciousness."

-- Delfin Knowledge System

"God acts in history: that is, God provides ideas, methods, and experiences intended to bring comprehension to man, an understanding heart, a conscious life."

-- Jacob Needleman

Just My Final Left

I'm a bit melancholy at the moment. Things seem neither good nor bad. And I have to review the vocab for my final tonight. I'll be so relieved when tonight's class is over. Then I have two months for myself. TWO! I can spend some serious time getting in shape again and getting my life back in order. I mean that quite literally, my storage space right now (a second bedroom at my parents' house) is really tough to move around in.

I've changed my medication dosage. Here's hoping it works out well... and the good news is my doctor was for it. Getting a proper amount of sleep is and will be the thing that will keep me in line the best. Still... I have this tiny sinking feeling in the back of my brain. Wish I could define it better than that. I really, really need this break from school. I'm kind of wiped out.

Hopefully by tomorrow I'll be all rejuvenated.

What About The Fun?

Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive. ~ Elbert Hubbard.

Yup. We're all going to die. At some point... hopefully way far away from now. And in the meantime, we should be having fun. Don't you think? Don't you wish you were having a good time all the time? While this may not be 100% possible, I don't feel it should be too far off track. I was stressing out about the school stuff. It was driving me loco. So... I had to take a break. Walk away for a bit. And go back to having some fun.

Yesterday my supervisor stormed out of the office with a comment he left behind. "I take my job too seriously." And my answer to that... holy crap! That's it! That's why he bugs me. He does. He takes his job way too seriously. No one else around this place does it like he does. All this time I've been wondering why he bothers the shit out of me. Now I know... he takes his job too seriously. Is it really worth giving yourself a heart attack over? Nope. And most of the long winded, useless emails he sends out "covering all bases" get ignored or even chuckled at. He does a decent job but most of the time he's focused on the stuff that doesn't really help us and a bunch of overkill.

Meanwhile... this guy comes into work a few months back and half his face isn't moving. I had to ask him what's wrong with his face before he did anything about it. Then he still didn't rush out to the hospital. He went back to his desk for a while. Strangely, his wife didn't even know what was going on with him. He was on his way to the hospital and she had to call me to see what's up. Dude... you do take your job way too seriously.

My point is simple. Being too serious, too often can not only do damage to your health but it can also do damage (lots of damage) to your personality. And if it does damage to the latter, things just won't be as fun as they could be. Actually, that's the case with either result here.

Taking the Weight Off

My shoulders have been carrying around this crazy weight. Just insane. I could feel it. My relationships can feel it. Everything is feeling it. All those things that are important to me besides school are feeling it. It's time for me to take a break. From school. Until September. I just can't do another five weeks like this. I don't like who this is making me into. At all. So... I will finish out this week and withdraw from the second session.

I've been debating this for some time... I want to know how to speak the language and at this point all I've got is confusion. My brain stopped absorbing sometime in the last few weeks and now I'm just cranky, miserable, and completely out of it. So... I will let it go... let go of my graduation date and just be ok with graduating a little later than I had planned on. I know what I want for my life. And this ain't it.

Thank God, I get to be me again.

Un Fin De Semana Bueno

My brain hurts again.

I am not enjoying Spanish.

This weekend was good. Pretty good.

Friday was a bit strange. I had alot of stimulus and not enough to eat. But, I will say see The Happening. (But be prepared... it's graphic and it's intense.) And massages rock.

Saturday... three and a half hours of kids (and a few grown-ups) dancing. Then a party down in Atlantic City. I would recommend passing up the dance recitals but I love my niece and she deserves to have as many people as possible there to cheer her on. The party down in AC rocked but we tried not to stay out too late. That didn't work. Got home around 4AM. Can't complain though... had a good time. And my bud's car almost got towed but somehow the security gaurds at the college got her cell number and called to ask if she was coming to get it. Kind of wondering how they got her phone number.

Yesterday I was enlightened by the stylings of Shakespeare. Taming of the Shrew. Good stuff, even if the seats hurt our rears. Apparently this is his most "controversial" play. Feminists from today as well as back in his time would get worked up over this. I can see why but... come on... (shakes head).

Wish I could come up with more to say but, really, my brain hurts at the moment. I'm just taking a break at the moment. Have to get back to Actividad Tres.

Codependent Dysfunctional Definition of Love

Sometimes you watch... and that's all you can do. Throw out some advice when it's asked of you. But, watching your former self in someone else can cut right to the bone. I've learned so much in the last few years. And I'm still learning each and every day. I had therapy yesterday and I got nearly nowhere with it. Sometimes it's like that though. Especially when I don't get enough sleep. I do, however, want to post something I found some time back. When I was dealing very deeply (and with a rawness that leaves me surprised that skin does grow back) with my own co-dependency issues. I still see them pop up once in a while but it used to be bad. Very, very bad. Part of it was just because it was part of who I was. Part of it was my disorder. And much of it was just sad. So... I re-read this every once in a while. Just to remind myself that all of these lessons are in me. And when the time comes, I just have to remember them and live them out.

Codependent Relationships Dynamics part 2 - Dysfunctional Definition of Love

Here is a short list of the characteristics of Love vs. toxic love (compiled with the help of the work of Melody Beattie & Terence Gorski.)

1. Love - Development of self first priority.
Toxic love - Obsession with relationship.
2. Love - Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
Toxic love - Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)

3. Love - Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
Toxic love - Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

4. Love - Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.
Toxic love - Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.

5. Love - Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)
Toxic love - Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."

6. Love - Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
Toxic love - Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

7. Love - Embracing of each other's individuality.
Toxic love - Trying to change other to own image.

8. Love - Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
Toxic love - Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.

9. Love - Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.
Toxic love - Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.

10. Love - Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)
Toxic love - Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)

11. Love - Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship.
Toxic love - Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.

12. Love - Ability to enjoy being alone.
Toxic love - Unable to endure separation; clinging.

13. Love - Cycle of comfort and contentment.
Toxic love - Cycle of pain and despair.

Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship - it is natural and healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever - expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional. Expectations set us up to be a victim - and cause to abandon ourselves in search of our goal.

If we can start seeing relationships not as the goal but as opportunities for growth then we can start having more functional relationships. A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment - it is a lesson.

As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever - we are set up to fail. As long as we believe that we have to have the other in our life to be happy, we are really just an addict trying to protect our supply - using another person as our drug of choice. That is not True Love - nor is it Loving.


"As long as we believe that someone else has the power to make us happy then we are setting ourselves up to be victims"
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney

There Was Karaoke At Friday's Last Night

I went to therapy today. And accomplished nothing. However, I did feel good about myself on my drive back to the office. Not inflated a la bipolar disorder but good. Self confident. Really liking myself for a bit. I think I'm just feeling too tired to think negative.

I had a blast last night catching up with one of my classmates from last semester. There were originally supposed to be four of us. It only turned out to be two. We did so much talking, we could have gone all night long if I didn't remind myself I had to be in work in the morning. So much fun. Four glasses of wine and some laughter mixed with serious stuff. Haven't had a night talking with anyone like that in a while. It was good for me. She's got a bunch of tough stuff on her plate. I hope I was able to help a bit. I just kept reminding her that she's worth more than she thinks. And she's a better person than some of her behaviors. But... don't we all do that sometimes? We start behaving in ways that are uncomplimentary because we believe that we're not better than that.

I know I do. Way too often.

As she and I were leaving there was a definite temptation. Watching all the young ones enjoy their night out. Singing karaoke and getting together in crowds, it was reminisent of a time gone by. Kind of miss those carefree nights out drinking with friends. We contemplated staying out and "painting the town red". But, times change... people change... all part of growing I guess.

Ten Quizzes Later

My brain hurts. I think I heard it crack when I was on my fifth online Spanish quiz. I just can't wait for tonight to be over.

Passing The Side Effects On

I'm kind of blah today. I don't want to touch my homework and I'm feeling kind of depressed. I didn't get enough sleep over the last couple days so that could be why. I keep having that underlying feeling that my life is never going to improve. But, I know it will. Just a little more time and I'll be back out on my own. That, in and of itself, will be wonderful. I think for now I better just get down to work and keep studying. Every time I study or do one exercise... I make progress. So, that will feel good when I get to it.

Yesterday I began speaking pretty in depth with a new friend of mine. He apparently has beaten the cancer that my other friend is battling right now. He was able to give me all sorts of info about side effects, etc. I passed this info on and feel good about it. I feel like everything happens for a reason and this just showed me that there's alot of truth to it. He and I just met on Friday and now he's able to help me help someone else that I care about. I think there's an awesomeness and a interconnection in there that's just amazing. A blessing, really. See... good things are coming out of meetup. And I made the right choice by starting the group.

Anyhoo... I better get to work. There's alot to be done. But... I... don't... wanna!

The Easy Way Out

Nothing is learned or earned by taking the easy way out.

This is another one of those quotes I have no one to attribute it to directly besides the friend who sent it to me.

Right now I'm a little sad. A friend of mine is working very, very hard to get what she wants from life. I am happy that she is happy. I am sad because I think I'm going to eventually lose all contact with her. I don't know this for sure but I just have an itchy feeling in the back of my brain about it. And she is learning and earning her way. I really do hope everything turns out to be what she really does want... hope her dreams become a reality.

However, many people I know do take the easy way out... including myself. I have. Though I think at this point I work pretty hard also to make my life into what I want it to be. And every day is another exercise in doing that. Or nearly every day. I was really, really lazy yesterday before coming into work.

Most days, however, are spent working my ass off in some form or another. Maintaining relationships, school, working alot, saving money, figuring out what I need for me, taking good care of my physical self. Still... I watch others I know... they hide from having to go the long way around. Whether it's by jumping into relationships too quickly and not cleaning out your baggage first or because they are afraid to find out what's it like to be alone (I read a really awesome comment about this in Cosmo yesterday: basically, women need some single time to find out what they want for themselves, this is incredibly important and I know exactly what that comment means.) Sometimes it's not going to school when it's become nearly necessary (unless you have a specific trade) or by simply not facing yourself. Facing oneself is, in my opinion, the hardest thing to do. And it takes work to be ok with yourself and to fix yourself. But many, many people would rather not. They'd rather walk blindly and avoid it.

So... I repeat... again... nothing is learned or earned by taking the easy way out.

Forgetting Gnocchi

This weekend was varied and interesting. And now I'm in pain and at work. Kind of grateful to be at work at the moment. The pain comes from the sunburn that I stupidly did not prevent. Sigh...

Friday night I attempted to go ice skating with the meetup group but low and behold I wasn't able to get on the ice. I screwed up my knee about a week and a half ago and then thought it was back to normal on Thursday night. Then I got overzealous on it (read into that as you wish) and messed it back up again. Oops! So instead of ice skating we went to Uno at the mall near the skating rink. It was fun. Met two new people. One of which I see myself becoming friends with. He was a very cool person. He'll be my English friend, I think. His accent is too cool.

Got lost twice on Friday though. Which is kind of ironic because the reasons behind getting lost were to help another friend avoid that in particular situation. Actually, I only got lost once and the second time was more a fact of just missing an exit.

Saturday I went down the shore for a friend's bachlorette party. That was fun. I love that group of ladies. They are all very tightly knit and somehow I squeeze in there quite nicely. Hopefully I'll be able to stop by one of their houses on Friday for a housewarming shindig.

After the shore (from which I came back red as a lobster on my chest and stomach) I went out to dinner with another meetup group. Bellini's a good meal and the company was good. I got to meet one more new person, again she seemed pretty cool. Although somehow bipolar disorder was briefly referenced in a comment of hers. "I know he's crazy..." Yeah... I didn't take it personally because she doesn't know but it was still a small sting... reminds me how small minded some people can be. That some people simply don't understand or know what mental illness is about. After dinner, we found a bar nearby and each got a drink and relaxed into some chatting. (Yeah... ok... I had one and a half drinks.)

I kind of disappointed myself as well last night. I ended up blabbing to the group about the guy whom got kind of strange in my car a few weeks ago. From now on I keep my mouth shut better than that. I don't like being that kind of person, the kind that just embarrasses people in front of others. It was remarkably uncool of me. Especially once I found out he got a DUI that night. Only thing there is that he apparently stopped somewhere on the way home for one more drink so I can't blame myself for that. Not that I should blame myself anyway, really, but still... I do feel a mild bit of responsibility for it. However, the option to let him sleep in my car like he wanted to was not actually a good one.

So... lessons learned... 1) I shall not tell stories or talk about people from my meetup group openly in front of the meetup group. 2) Drinking and driving is a stupid idea. (Not that I wasn't already aware of this but sometimes it needs reinforcement.) 3) I will not keep forgetting about my leftovers... this time I left it at the bar we went to after dinner. Dang it! I'd really much rather be eating that today instead of the tomato and cheese sandwich I brought to work with me.

Before I Fell

I am sad about something. It upset me quite a bit this morning and now it just leaves an underlining of sadness.

Prior to getting medicated, I just tried to struggle against stuff myself. To no avail because it turns out you can't beat your brain chemistry with your brain. Turns out that outside help was needed. Sometimes this can be holistic or just therapy or sometimes you have to see an MD. Either way, there are simply times when you can't just do it yourself. And someone I know is struggling with trying to overcome something that is in her brain, not just in her mind. Not that therapy won't help... because it will too. Sigh... I guess I'm just frustrated. Maybe I'm just seeing reflections of myself.

I have pulled myself back from so much. And I put myself through alot of what would have been unnecessary drama if I had just been better sooner. However, I had to let the illness basically destroy me in order to get help and make things better. And it wouldn't have mattered how often people brought my failures or my weaknesses to the table... I would have just tried to make them better by sheer will... not realizing that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn't be able to beat this. I equate it to trying to beat pneumonia by holding your breath. Yeah... that doesn't work either but it's worth a shot, right? If I could choose it, I would not have lost all those years of my life but it is what it is and I'm at peace with it. What I am not at peace with is watching someone else be in a place similar to where I was just last year at this time. The illnesses are different, different diagnosis but in some ways are very much the same. Both illnesses can damage a beautiful life and now there's help... why try to beat it on your own if one can fight it more constructively?

I'm just a little frustrated, I guess.

I'm A Serious Student!

Ahh... espanol. Is driving me crazy. At the moment. I'm trying not to be stressed but I'm starting to feel it anyway.

Last night the cutest boy ever contacted me about sharing some wine and hanging out. I had to say "no" because of the schoolwork that's due tonight. Plus, I have a test. I'm feeling very yech but what's one to do? Again, I need to remind myself that I can only do what I can do. No more, no less.

Felt good about the fact that I put myself first for once. If he doesn't like it, oh well... just one more sign that it's not meant to be. He needs to respect me for all of me. (Or, shit, some of me would be nice... lol.) Then again unless I take myself seriously, what is there to respect? Unless I let him know what's right for me... how is he to know? And unless I show him what's important to me... (my edumacation)... how will he know what to really think of me?

I'm glad I didn't hang out last night. I did the right thing. And we did the polite wave at each other this morning since we were both leaving for work at the same time. I still think he's super hot.

Computer Sciences Major

I have become consumed with saving money. With not spending more than I have to. Apparently, I really want to move out and it's boiling to the surface. One step at a time... one day at a time, I suppose. Arg.

And so, I have to change my major so that my company will pay for my classes. This is going to get complicated, I'm afraid but it'll be worth it. Looks like, technically, I'm going to become a computer sciences major. That's only a technicality people... world religions, I'm still in love with you.

I just sat down to figure out my money... I think I almost want to cry... in a good way. It's looking like I'm going to be able to start swinging more into my savings than I originally thought. This is awesome. I'm so relieved. And I'll still be working toward paying off my credit card. This is fantastic. The end of summer/beginning of fall looks very, very doable after all. I can't believe it.

Which means that suddenly I have a ton to do. When it was a "see when I get there" thing... it didn't feel like I had to do all that much to get everything in order. Now, it's looking like things are going to have to be done a bit sooner than I expected. Exciting shizit, if you ask me.

Numb

Currently, my brain and body are numb.

My brain is numb from studying. And my body is going numb because my office is really, really cold. I will take another quick walk outside soon to warm up. I hope that tomorrow I remember to bring my sweater. Yeah... even though it has a hole in the elbow. Eventually it will be replaced. Once I get a few other things out of the way financially.

School is rolling right along. Once Thursday is over, then the class is halfway over... can't wait. However, I did point out to a person or two that actually learning the language is currently more importante to me than just getting a passing grade. That doesn't mean I don't care if I pass or not... it's just that passing is not what's going to consume me. And if I need to take it again, then I will. (Fingers are really crossed that I won't have to.)

I'll keep studying and trying. My homework and studying has begun to take over. All my downtime needs to be spent with my nose in the books. Though I also need to get exercise in as well. So... there's my life at the current moment. Still want to buy a bike.

Well Past Eight Times... But Still Relevant

Today is one of my "fall down 7 times, get back up 8" kind of days. Starting over again. I had a medication problem over the weekend (of my own doing) and it messed me up terribly yesterday. If I hadn't gotten up and went to the girl's night that my sister in law was throwing the entire day would have been a gigantic waste. I slept until 5:50 in the afternoon. Or thereabouts. Which means I got nothing done. Sheesh. Oh well. I can begin again today. And I will.

Wanted to also post some good advice that was in my inbox this morning:


As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love
for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone
you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every
sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.