The plane was little but I was comfortable. And I felt safe. At nearly every moment. A few random thoughts floated through my head. As in... "I could just open the door and jump right now". Then I'd get a bit freaked out by the actual act playing out in my head and I'm clutch tighter onto my seatbelt.
Yesterday was awesome. The experience amazing. I really hope to do it again. Next time I will steer and maybe we can try the zero gravity thing. Assuming there will be a next time.
I think, for me, one of the best parts about it was my lack of fear. Of course I knew we could fall out of the sky or something could go horribly wrong because I'd be stupid to deny the possibility of it. But, I wasn't scared. I had faith that we would land safe and sound as if we'd never done it. And we did. Except we did do it.
When I flew back and forth to Miami a few years ago, I was terrified. Praying my rosary, rocking back and forth. Even after some Xanax. The Xanax didn't kick in until about a half hour before the flight was over. My ex-boyfriend told me he'd never fly with me again after that experience. And, I'm pretty sure, he was right about that. I don't ever foresee us flying together again. I did, in a strange way, want him to know that I did fine yesterday. That apparently the medication does help make me who I really am meant to be. When I was young, flying did not scare me. As I got older (and the illness made itself more and more apparent) I became really, really scared of it. Not a scaredy cat but, rather, a person willing to take a risk or two.
When you fly, your life is in the hands of the pilot (and sometimes just plain ol' fate) but generally, you're trusting the guy who's had the training to get you somewhere fast. We flew for one hour yesterday, inside a little plane that my dad would have been panicked over me being in... if he knew. (He, after all, enjoyed Jim Croce and John Denver's music and didn't want it to end so soon.) But in that hour I was reaffirmed. I came back down knowing I am still the person I used to be. Certain parts of me that had been buried over the years were back. And some of those parts I really, really like.
I drove home blasting AC/DC last night. I am not a fan of all their music but somehow it felt right.
Briefly Noted Book Reviews
2 years ago
1 comment:
My name is Robert Kegan and i would like to show you my personal experience with Xanax.
I am 19 years old. Have been on Xanax for 60 days now. I have periodic panic attacks, particularly at social gatherings, riding in cars, and walking into rooms full of people (i.e. late to class). I felt that the medicine worked, but I felt that it created urges to take more than directed when the rebound anxiety hit, so I switched from alprazolam to clonazepam (Klonopin). I think xanax is great for airplanes and adjunctive treatment with ssri's, but by itself I don't think xanax has much too offer except as a short term treatment for panic attacks, klonopin is less sedating and seems to prevent future anxious episodes without causing cravings, and tolerance seems to build up much slower than xanax does.
I have experienced some of these side effects -
I sometimes felt invisible, like nobody could notice anything I was doing. Occasionally it would make me fall asleep if I had to stay in one spot for too long. After a fairly short period of time I would feel moderate rebound anxiety.
I hope this information will be useful to others,
Robert Kegan
Xanax Prescription Information
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