Changing My Mind

I don't want to feel used so I'm taking a stand for myself. And I don't know how to feel about it. Last night I turned him down with what he wanted because it's just gotten to a sleezy place. Have me over for 20 minutes and expecting an orgasm before I leave. I don't think so. Spend some real time with me and it'll all be good. I promise, I love fooling around but I need to be getting what I want as well.

He probably feels that I am turning the tables or something but I'm not. I'm just not willing to put myself out there in an intimate way anymore unless I have exactly that with someone. Intimacy. And I told him that I'm weeding out the people who care about me from the people who don't. I simply don't need sex or it's extremities to be confusing me for the time being.

Then I get a small panic through me... what if he doesn't contact me anymore? Then it goes away quickly when I choose to realize that I'm not losing much, if that's the case.