Pulling the Canoe

Everyone has the right to vent. That is not the issue here. I will say, be careful who you vent to though. Sometimes things are found out by accident. So and so went here over the weekend... oh... so did so and so. Well, so and so number two was complaining about some people who went there. Oh wait... so and so number two was complaining about so and so number one. Hmm...

Now... was so and so number one venting the truth or not? Sometimes untruths are stated in the venting process. Exaggerating. And that's how rumors start and that's how people start to sound worse than they actually are. Making oneself out to be a martyr when it is simply not true, well... that's not cool. I was not there so I will not claim to know how it all went down but I do have leanings that come from experience.

If you have one canoe that's not having a good time, chances are no one in the canoe is having a good time. Unless, of course, there's an obliviousness going on. Which just wouldn't be the case with the people involved here. Sometimes things don't work out as you imagine they are going to. But, before you go blaming people who really just wanted to be friends with you that you basically took one for the team, check in with the other folks first. Take a look at the people you're complaining about. Where do they stand on the subject? What was going on with them? Did I offer to help out? If I did, does that mean me saying I was the only one doing anything should count? Nope. Sorry... if I offer help it's not a good sign if I complain about it later. That means I wasn't being a good person, I was just trying to save face and look good at the moment. Knowing full well that my heart was not in it and I wasn't being honest with anyone. And to say later that you had a good time when it was clear you didn't... is unnecessary between friends. Unless, of course, you're not really friends but rather an acquaintance disguised as friends. Too bad people don't always know where they stand with this.

At some point everyone has to get out of the canoe to pull it over the rocks. Determining how you react to it is part of what's going to determine what kind of person you are.