Frustration

Frustration. That's what I feel. And a bit of brokeness to go along with it. I have only a few principles that I truly try to live by. I love intensely... in all ways, not just romantically. And doing unto others as I would like done unto me. And I am frustrated because many days I feel I'm the only one out there who values their relationships and the people in my life above all else. And I understand that one can't truly learn to love another until they love themselves. Because if you don't know how to love yourself, how can you care for others in an efficient manner whatsoever? How can you understand their needs? But, from what I see... so many people don't want to delve below the surface. They don't want to deal with what makes them tick - whether positive or negative. Yes, it can be scary but imagine the freedom that comes with letting go. Of working through your fears and trusting life. Life is going to hand you some real bullshit from time to time. Believe me, I know life is not all roses. I value people and their feelings, including my own above everything else. Each and every person has the same worth... and they need to know that. They need to know that they are important to you. I need that too. I want to know people so that I can understand them but it seems people don't want to open up. They are scared and put on masks. I guess another principal I live by is living authentically. I don't put on faces. What you see is what you get. And when I choose to have someone in my life, when I choose to care about someone... there is nothing that I will allow to get in the way of that. Unless, of course, it's against their will. If they don't want to open up to me, that's ok. I'll still open up to them. I can't imagine anyone being afraid to open up to me... I've been in some really low situations in life and I have a wide range of experiences that I can identify with. And if you know me for any length of time, I don't hide my past or my present from people. I'm very open. But, maybe it's me. Maybe people don't want to open up to me for whatever reason. I guess I'll just keep going about my business and that'll be that. I'm just frustrated. I've been given a new lease on life and I feel like I'm the only one who feels the joy of being alive. And to feel that I can't share this joy with everyone in my life... well... that makes me sad.

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” - Carl Gustav Jung