Damn

Things are very dark and gray for me right now. My sky is all clouded up and I'm struggling. I have to end a relationship with someone whom I really care for. The cutest guy ever. And I have to let him know that's what I think of him before I do it. Just so I can be at peace with it.

And I have to pretty much quit drinking altogether because usually I can't stop at my cut off. For some reason, I can't just stop at two. And that scares me. Drinking will destroy my life and my mind if I am not careful. The mixing with the meds is really, really not working out too well.

I hate that my life is what it is and that it's taking so long to pull my shit together. I'm tired of working this hard and getting very little in the results department. While I know all about the patience stuff... I'm sick of it. Still... I'll get up tomorrow and keep working on it. I just wish something good would come along to brighten up my day.