After the Meltdown

I'm back. And this weekend turned into a nightmare. Though it should have been filled with joy because one of my best friends had her baby. A healthy, beautiful baby girl. But, I'm back. I forgot my meds on Saturday night and had a complete meltdown on Sunday. I had to take yesterday off from work to recooperate. I felt that I had to lie to my co-workers because I don't want to be the crazy girl on staff. I had a stomach virus as far as they know. And now I'm back here. But, I have this very strong feeling going on. I feel incapable (of nearly anything). Work and non-work related. And my self esteem has been knocked down to nearly nil. One friend told me last night that from what he's seen so far, I'm not going to give up. And I'm not. I came back to work today... that's what's important right now. And I'm working on getting my biology group all caught up (well, actually, my friend is working on getting them all caught up). We're all going to have setbacks... I just can't take many more of them. I need to regroup right now and that's really, really hard to do. Just driving to work this morning felt like an accomplishment. Hopefully I'll get myself back to normal soon.