80%

Ok.  So, that was a brutal few days.  Hasn't been like that in a while.  Though, with the famed 20/20 hindsight, it's been coming for quite some time.  The meds just weren't working.  It's been a good 6 weeks at least, realistically, since they were - at least at any level worth counting.  My meds have been switched up and I have also signed up for intermittent medical leave at work.  The medical leave will cover me when it's necessary instead of always using sick time.  Hopefully I won't have to use it much at all.  Hopefully the new stuff will be good for at least a while.

Have to admit, while I'm worn down and could use just a little more rest and relaxation, my mind is quiet again.  I was able to drive and sing today on my way to and from school... something that only occurs when I'm feeling right.  The new meds will take weeks before they're up to the levels to reach full effect on me.  But - at least I'm not feeling drugged or feeling crazed... as the Seroquel sometimes does make me feel.  And the slight tingling sensation on top of my head is unique... though I have felt it before and suspect it will have gone away within the next few days.

Back on the horse again, I plan to take it slow for the next few days until I don't have to take it slow anymore.  I plan to go home, clean up the mess my apartment has become and make myself a dinner.  Yes, people... I plan to cook something.  Nothing fancy but it feels like it has been forever since I have felt capable.  It hasn't been... just feels that way.

Hopefully tomorrow I can get back just a little bit more.  I'm at about 80% today (as I had hoped).  Maybe by tomorrow I'll be at 85 or more.  I just needed those thoughts to stop... yup... you know the ones.  And they have.