Roses in the Rain

Ahh... I'm feeling rested.  Feeling much like someone might after a good vacation (usually).  Even if you were active - even if you had a blast and partied it up... the truth is a good enough day or few days can make you feel a sense of hope that sometimes slips away otherwise.

On Saturday I ventured into NYC by myself - for the first time.  I was on my own timetable, doing my own thing, exploring as I like to explore - despite the wind and the rain.  I headed up in time to make it comfortably to my hair appointment at 1pm.  Leaving here around 10am.  I made it to Hoboken with no problem and took the Path into the city.  I enjoy doing the Hoboken thing because it provides me with the opportunity to come and go as I please.  No train or bus to make sure to catch at a specific time.  The parking lot in Hoboken is 24 hours so there are no worries there.  (Though if it had been warmer, I would have driven around to try and find a free spot... somewhere.)  I went the wrong was toward Journal Square on the train at first but turned myself around.  Once I was in the city, I hailed a cab with the confidence of someone who's done it a hundred times before.  My hair was done earlier than I figured it would be and I headed out on the street.  The rain was just beginning to leak from the sky.  I had to find somewhere to buy an umbrella as well as a notebook and paper to write with.  I had the entire afternoon free for myself before planning to meet a friend of mine for dinner. 

So... I wandered for a bit, staying close to the subway openings that would lead me to where I needed to go for dinner, which lay somewhere on the border of Harlem and Washington Heights.  The rain was picking up so I slipped into the Playwright and had myself a beer.  I enjoyed an article from a past issue of the New Yorker and then slipped back out into the weather.  I wandered a bit more and found another place to stop.  For just a short few minutes I found myself sitting at a bar alone - in NYC.  I ordered an appetizer and another beer, this time I pulled out my paper and pen.  People came in and I finished up, slid into the bathroom and put on some makeup for dinner.  Out into the weather I went again.  I wandered for a few before finding the growing desire to get back inside.  My umbrella had flipped inside and out about 15 times by now.  Once inside the mall I found a bookstore where I bought a recent bestseller.  After leaving the bookstore I stumbled upon the find of the trip for me.  A Salvador Dali exhibit.  Oh, how I wish I had a spare $378,000.  But - I don't.  After finishing up there, I found another bar - a bit seedier than the rest but I enjoyed most of another article along with one more beer while I waited for go-time to come.

I ventured across town.  Downtown, to be exact.  Though, at first, I headed Uptown.  Luckily a friendly enough woman on the train confirmed to me that I needed to be going the other way.  I did so willingly, without any frustration.  I had given myself an hour to find the restaurant.

Once I got to 125th, I got off the train and went out to the street.  Ok... this part of NY is not the area I am used to.  I had no idea which way to head so I just started walking.  The wrong way.  Once again, someone who was friendly enough gave me a tip and I headed out the way she said.  In that part of town, there are no cabs to grab.  Which was unfortunate for me but even more unfortunate for my bladder.  While the wind and rain pushed me down a hill in a light unintentional jog (me laughing all the while) I forgot I had to go.  By the time, however, that the hill leveled out... I really had to go.  I had a moment like this a little while ago - last summer... maybe.  Maybe the one before... but then I was at home.  This time, I was in Harlem (or maybe a little into Washington Heights), and I could not find a bathroom.  In a moment of tension and fear, I spied an alley where I felt I could slip into.  By the time I got to the alley, my bladder had reached a fever pitch.  Yet - much to my chagrin - I discovered that this wasn't an alley - what I was seeing was merely a trick of the eyes and the light.  This was merely a corner and a wall.  Like a dog I circled as cars passed by.  (Which lead me to believe that not all of the people acting strangely in cities are crazy - maybe they just have to GO.)  Once I heard silence on the car front, I went for it.  The fastest public bathroom break of my life.  "Please don't get arrested, please don't get arrested, please don't get arrested," was all I could think.  The good news is, I did not get arrested nor did any cars pass by as I was doing what I needed to do.

After finishing up and feeling a sense of relief that only comes with one thing, I left my corner to discover that the restaurant I was looking for lay right before me.  Sigh... in the time I spent circling, I could have made it there.  Oh well... relief was still washing over me (as well as rain), I made my way in and sat at the bar to wait for my friend.  I blotted the sweat off my brow and decided what to do if she didn't end up being able to make it.  I would simply head back to the station.  She made it - and there were no issues.  We had a good meal, we went back to the subway together, making our way back across town.  I headed home to the Path with an exhaustion I haven't felt in oh-so-long.  The kind that comes with a long, satisfying albeit wet day.

I slept better Saturday night than I have in quite a while.

After all this is said and done, I have to say that I will be doing this again.  It may not always be NYC... it may just be in Philly.  It may be down the shore... it may be right in my own town... it may be in a new city, in a new way.  I'm going to relax, take a moment to breathe and just take it as it comes.  And that's what NYC taught me this weekend.  I don't have all the time in the world but I do have enough time to enjoy myself.  The definition of smelling the roses.  I'm going to begin working on this new way of working it.  I'm going to be chill about it - stop trying to control it and keep my focus where it needs to be.