If At First...

"And if at first you don't succeed
Then dust yourself off and try again
You can dust it off and try again, try again"
-Aaliyah

Fell apart today. Trying again tomorrow. I feel the need right now to shake it all off. And start again, in a new way. New day, new way. Do I feel weak about it? Yes. Will I continue to? No. I feel a sense of resolve and I feel a sense of what I need to do. Drinking has to go out the window for a while. Simple as that. A wine tasting on your second day after quitting is not the best idea in the world. May I have to change plans for a bit? Probably. I love my friends and I know they love me... there shouldn't be too many issues with this. I need to take some time for me. For my life. If it's ever going to be the way I want it to be, I need a clean slate to start from. I don't mean wiping everything out but what I do mean is doing things a little different.

I mean treating myself like a woman. I need time to get myself ready. I need time to look good and to feel good. Why has this been so difficult for me? I'm not 100% sure but it has got to stop NOW. Right this minute, tonight.