Getting Underneath the Ball

Went out with my dad for a catch today. We spent an hour tossing around the softball while some sort of league practiced or played nearby. Was hard to tell what they were playing exactly but they yelled out here and there... probably having a fantastic time all the while. Either way - dad and I were having a good time too. Haven't had that feeling in years and years - the slap of the ball against the glove - the occasional sting - the feeling of making that relatively difficult catch almost as instinct rather than any kind of skill.

I jumped, I bounced and I reminded myself that I needed to stay with the ball - not try to avoid it while catching it. I had to remind myself not only to keep my eye on it but to get underneath it when it came my way. The first few throws I did the opposite. I tried to get out of the way while simultaneously making contact. This DOES NOT work. It is amazing how quickly and easily the fight or flight response jumps in there. Softballs are hard - totally unlike what the name implies.

Meanwhile - I keep thinking about the changes that are coming up around the bend. I am thinking about the future. A little worried, a little scared - yet very excited. I currently work a job that provides the kind of stablilty that those who have families depending on them hope and pray about. Only problem is... all I have is Fred the cat relying on me this way... now is the exact time to go after what I'm thinking about. It's nearly time for me to get under the ball - to follow it, not only with my eyes but to be an active participant in relationship with it.

I am not sure how I am going to do it in the beginning. I am thinking that I'll work most Saturdays of the month with friends and family first - at least until I am able to figure out the step that should naturally come after that one. I have some ideas but nothing concrete. I'm a bit on the nervous side because the fall could be hard - I could end up with a very fat lip in the process - if I don't catch the ball and it smacks me in the face instead. I just have to get underneath it - stick with it anyway and try to trust that my hands are perfectly capable of keeping it close.