Jumbled Up

Do the hard work now, so you do not spend the rest of your life unhappy and questioning yourself.

- Lisa E. Scott

The book this quote is pulled from is about Narcissists. Pathological narcissists. The thing about this quote is that it can, in fact, be versatile. As my spiritual director often says "the face changes but the situation stays the same". (At least, I am pretty sure that's how she says it - and she is not the only one who says something similar.) What she is referring to is our patterns. Patterns are hard to break. Life is filled with them. All sorts of patterns for all sorts of people - there are as many mistakes to make in life as there are people. Unfortunately, some are big and life altering... some are just as small as a paper cut that heals within a day or so. These type don't really impact your life anymore than the second or so after it happens. Just a momentary ouch. However, just like a papercut can get infected... too many of the small mistakes can lead to infection of the soul if we do not clean it out from time to time.

The fact of the matter is that all of us are going to make a few gigantic problems for ourselves. Some of it will come from patterns begun in childhood - messages sent to us that we choose to follow into adulthood and the other part will be of our own making later in life. Messages we receive as adults that we choose to live by regardless of what we know deep, down inside to be true.

The thing is this... when one sees these issues... when one recognizes what they are doing to hurt themselves (let alone others)... it would be best to truly address said issues as soon as possible. Staying stuck may look easier and, in some ways, is easier but down the road - one day - one year - one decade you will find yourself looking back and wondering why you have wasted so much time. Many of us do and will.

And if you stay stuck long enough, you may never come to realize what needs to be realized and conquered. You may become so ingrained with unhealth that it seems to you to be normal and "just who you are". The truth is we are all made up of the good stuff. The light, the love, the laughter... most of the time it is our defenses, our patterns, our pain that make us less than desirable. None of us will ever be perfect, that is for certain and something that needs to be peacefully accepted by each of us. While this is true, it does not mean that it isn't worth it to even try to be better than who you were yesterday. If you know the difference, go for it. Life is so much more fun living less jumbled up as opposed to all jumbled up. This is a promise.

Life is meant to be fun. Not easy all the time but still - fun.