Involved

I want this blog to sound different today than it does most days. I am tired of focusing on the same thing day after day, often because nothing truly seems to change. Yet, everything changes. Everything and everything's mother changes. From the weather to the work we do to the relationships we find ourselves in. It may not always be drastic but sometimes the slight shifts are enough.

I am involved with someone - enough that it is time for me to stop with the match.com stuff for the time being. Not enough that I would say I have a boyfriend but enough that we have had discussions about what is up with us. We have agreed that once it stops being fun, it will be time to let it go. Is this someone I see myself building a future with? Not exactly... but then again, I am not looking for a husband right now. I am looking for someone with whom I can talk and not feel like they have no interest in what I am saying and vice versa. He is a good man, I have to admit. And he's teaching me alot of things I just didn't or don't know.

As he's put it (without judgement, by the way), I have a warped sense of what it is to be involved with guys. He's showing me that it is ok if we talk about our feelings... it is ok if I talk about my feelings. It is ok to say what I think is up. It is ok to not be trying to conform myself to what or who he is... it is ok for me to do as I please. He doesn't want to tell me how I should think or be. He wants me to just be with him when it works for both of us. No labels, just friendship with some extra benefits... but more than a friends with benefits situation.

I am not used to this but I am going to try. And I am going to enjoy it as best as I can.