Happy Without the Smile

Going out at night without much of a plan is something different for me. Last night I did exactly that. Co-Britney fan and I were both plan-free so we went over to try out some appetizers and drinks. Meanwhile, a friend sends me a text about going out in Philly. Was already there so we went ahead and met up with her too. The drama that later ensued will not be the focus of today's blog though it could be.

Abuse is an ugly factor in many people's lives. One that I am decidedly ready to keep out of mine. And one that makes me want to go after some people with my Louisville Slugger.

Co-Britney and I did alot of chatting and some catching up on our lives. Guys, work... what we think we will be needing when it comes to having fun. I told her at one point that I am really not looking for a husband right now. That I just want to be free and enjoy myself. I am not sure how exactly this will work but hopefully it will as time goes on. Hopefully I don't hurt anybody. I really do not want to. But - I don't exactly want to be celibate either. My door is unlocked though not wide open to finding the right guy. I want to be crazy about him and vice versa. When we spend time together, I want it to be out and about, not just hanging in at home all the time.

Funny thing is... last night I paid attention to it. I do think I am intimidating to some people. Men, in particular. I have a face about me. My happy face is often not a smile, even though I am fine. People think I am pissed off when I really am not. On guard, maybe... yes... always but pissed... nah. Guess I'll have to work on fixing this.