Riding Through Withdrawal

It's been well over 24 hours since I had my last cigarette. And while I am still mourning the loss a bit... feeling small cravings... like I somehow made a wrong decision in quitting the way I did... I woke up this morning feeling like a kid again. Suddenly I could remember why I used to enjoy waking up in the morning. More than half of my life has been weighed down in cigarette smoke. I had honestly forgot how good the morning can feel. But - I slept like a dream last night and woke up this morning cuddling the little guy. He has been better since I started squirting him occasionally with a water bottle. Hey - he needs to be trained not to torture his mommy.

Yesterday was a tough one though. It started out by my only being able to take about an hour and a half sitting at my desk at work and finished up with me being kind of crazy for the day.

I kept getting these little bursts of energy. Doing things that I've put off for a while. Or doing things that equalled exercise. I rode my bike to and from the post office. While really tough for me (I really need a road bike), it felt good to get back on the bike. It ran through my mind, as people passed me in their cars that they were probably thinking "she must have gotten a DUI" or things of that nature (I confess to thinking that when I see certain people on bikes), I just told them "nope, I'm quitting smoking". And I am doing it cold turkey. Granted, they never did actually ask me... I still felt the need to tell them.

So, I got back from riding my bike and I went to Ross to pick up a bookbag so I can start riding my bike a bit more often. Prior to quitting smoking, I had always said I would start to ride my bike on errands that I had to run. Particularly on the weekends. Yet - I never had the energy. I am determined to find the energy now. I am determined to live the best life I can live. This is a tough road I am on but a worthwhile one.

I can not wait to ride my bike again - soon. Possibly tomorrow morning. First, though, I need to get myself a bike lock as well. I am so excited by the way I felt this morning when I woke up. Honestly - this is crazy awesome. My life really is in front of me in a way it has never been before.