Feel Good Now You Butch Bastard?

Went out to the movies last night. Saw Fool's Gold and had a beer with my bud. Jalapeno twist to the beer and a movie that actually provided a couple laugh out loud moments. Not a bad way to spend an evening.

But, the real focus came later. With a text and a whim to do what was best, I put it on the line. Said what I have needed to say for some time. And will I lose out on what I want now? Maybe. Only if it's not meant to be anyway.

I used the word "icky" to describe the situation and felt silly about that. My lack of real words only provides me with a chuckle at how nerves can interfere. Also, it provides me with the knowledge about myself that I am not a cruel person. I don't wish to be harsh but, rather, honest. However, I felt good about doing what needed to be done. I may gain more of an insight on the person I was speaking with or they may choose to leave my life completely. It's up to them. Either way, I'm trying to rid myself of this cycle I've been stuck in for months. Things are not the way they should be and someone needs to change something. Since I realize this, it is my responsibility to make the change. This back and forth stuff finally came to a head with me. There are parts of my life that no longer fit who I am, and these are the parts that need to be tweaked. I tweaked my room, I'm tweaking my schedule, I'm tweaking all sorts of stuff and some of my relationships appear to need tweaking as well.

Fingers are crossed and an eight week deadline... we'll see.