Their World

In the past couple months I have returned to the realm of dating (as most of you already know).  Earlier this week I ended it with the first person that has made it beyond one date in quite some time.  And while it didn't work out for multiple reasons, one thing that clicked in my head yesterday afternoon was where my own fault lay in the situation.

Now... some of this comes from the mere fact that I wasn't exactly into him the way I would have liked to be and another part of it boils down to the fact that he wasn't exactly experienced in the dating world.  So... I felt I had to think up all the places we would go on our dates.  The truth is, I did not even give him a chance to come up with an idea or two.  He didn't complain about this or even mention it until the night before I broke it off with him (or made my sorry first attempt at doing so and FAILED - however you want to look at it) so it didn't occur to me to ask him otherwise.

Of course - the fact of the matter is I am an oftentimes busy woman.  As one guy I never did actually date a while back but did speak to on the phone said "busy, busy, busy girl - busy, busy, busy".  (He was complaining to me that I hadn't returned his call soon enough.)  So - sometimes in order to be able to spend time together, I do feel the need to invite him (whomever him is at that given moment) to go to things with me.  Such as, Spice's birthday celebration.  There usually aren't too many complaints from the gentlemen I have done this with and I always let them know the entire deal before we go out with my friends - I also don't abandon them to their own devices in these situations - except, maybe, that ONE time.  I do my best to host them and try to make them as comfortable as possible.

But - maybe, just maybe I should allow for a particular change in this particular part of my dating life.  Maybe I should not be so sure what I want to do on any given night so that I can invite them to come up with some ideas.  Ask them what they would like to do so they can show me a little more of themselves and I can see how I feel about being involved with what they enjoy.  While this hasn't always been a huge problem for me or anything it is looking like I may need to be a little more "open" about certain things.  Welcoming people into my world has never been the problem, it's wanting to see theirs that I feel I may be lacking.

Could this have a correlation to the fact that I never meet men when I am out?  Maybe there's something to it.  Maybe it's ultimately all the same issue.  Maybe I am still more afraid of them than I realized and maybe it's time to change this once and for all.