Preparing to Walk Away

So, I've been working on making changes. And it finally feels like I'm handling it right this time - for some reason. Money, work, taking care of myself, and now I'm shutting down the meetup. Or, rather, I'm walking away from the meetup.

Meetup has been good to me. I've done it for just over a year and I've made a few really good friends through it. Co-Britney fan (whom I met at another meetup actually, not through mine, which she helped co-pilot), Spice, the Texan, my English friend, my French friends, my pottery partner, just to name a few. There's a few more but I feel like I'm writing the book of Genesis at the moment so I'm going to stop. I've gained a boyfriend, come and gone, from it and that was an experience worth having. I've also had some not so positive experiences from it, mostly just because certain folks have made me rather uncomfortable. Uncomfortable to the point that I'd like to avoid them.

Dude, your shirt should not be sticking out of your pants like a green penis. It's just nasty. And it happens all the time.

But... the year, which has been life changing, is now over and it's time for me to move into a more responsible and more healthy phase of my life. I won't trash meetup but I'm going to be staying away for a while. Don't have any desire at the moment to try and infuse my life with anymore new people. Just for a while, unless they come along in natural order. I have friendships that have been neglected because I was never around. And spontaneity has disappeared. And the money. Goodness, I've spent alot of money that could go towards things I've been putting off for a while.

My tattoo, traveling, my credit card for starters. Furniture that I really like, some art for my walls. Clothes I am proud to be wearing. (The clothes will come in about 20 pounds, I think.)

I'm happy with my decision. And I feel lighter. I'll be able to avoid some of the people who are just so socially awkward that they can't hold a conversation. I mean, we all have our socially awkward moments, folks... we really all do... but when it's a constant, it's hard to not get upset.

So... new phase, new moon, new season. I'm ready, I'm willing, and I'm actually going to follow through.