Boring Myself

It occurred to me and my English friend concurred in a way. See yesterday's comment for details. I am busy devoting myself to a job when, really, I need to devote myself to my life. And it also occurred to me that what my therapist said about me not feeling like I'm entitled to anything is also true. I'm entitled to a life, people. A real life. Not a life where I feel like crap all the time and have trouble functioning on a regular basis. I deserve to give myself a chance to be happy. Simple as that. I haven't really done that thus far. I know what I have to do and I'm picking up the doctor's note today after work. My doctor was awesome about it. She agreed with me that the problems I'm having would most likely be related to the work schedule I've been trying to grind my way through. Last year, I recall feeling good and ok. Getting my butt in order. In the last few months, not so much. At all.

So, I am going to do it. Being assertive about what I need is new to me so that explains the anxiety I've been feeling about it. I feel dramatic saying it but it's true... right now I'm in a fight for my life. I've been here before but now I'm coming to the realization that I'm getting older and if I want to accomplish anything worth anything at all, it's time to get started.

I'm starting to get tired of my own blog at this point... love writing it... but it seems to be getting repetitive. Time to change things up a bit, methinks.