What You're Working With

The last thirty six hours have been eventful. To say the least.

I woke up yesterday and had no idea what the day held for me. Had no idea what the day held for anyone. But I woke up to a phone call. I thought it was a friend of mine but it turns out it wasn't her... it was the woman who found her Blackberry. I managed to send a text out to two mutual friends of ours to please email her. And they did. I assume she got her phone back. I didn't exactly get a thank you and neither did Biff. So, the phone call messed me up. My brain took even longer than usual to start working due to the sleep disturbance once I finally woke up. When I say longer than usual, let's just leave it at... I drove to the store... drove right past it, through the parking lot... drove away and then had to turn around to go back. I knew what I was doing there but I couldn't figure out how to park. I probably shouldn't have been behind the wheel and I am sorry to all those whose life was so dangerously risked at my hands.

So, I visit mom... I'm finally coming to... and she tells me of my uncle's accident. Totalled his truck, flipped it over, got pretty banged up. But, he's ok. My God, I almost lost my uncle. Thank God he's ok.

And the night before I was dwelling a bit on my own nosiness. On the fact that I looked at a picture of a couple I'd been avoiding for three years. Truth is, they look good together. But, I had to dig at my own dark spot, my own fear in order to let it dissolve in the light. (My horoscopes lately have been pretty damn good.) But, any sickness I felt immediately has passed. Especially in light of the more important things.

My uncle could have died.

And Little Mama finally had her baby.

There's a new person in the world. Precious and beautiful and bringing joy to so many just by the mere existence of her. It's what we all should be.

And I've lost a friendship. My beloved is pissed at me. Apparently I haven't been there for him when he needed me. I didn't know he needed me so badly. There was nothing different about his behavior than it has been in the past. And I had been getting frustrated with his behavior, just because I was feeling a strange pressure to bend to his whims. I'd felt this for a long time. He's being irrational in his arguments... being that he's not willing to discuss a damn thing... only willing to sling insults and attack me for who I am. Which is no longer acceptable to him. I have to say this, my friends, I shouldn't have to pick up on clues that something is wrong. You need to just spit it out with me. Leave me a voicemail. Be direct. I'll be there as soon as possible.

I will no longer accept this behavior. Especially from those who are supposed to love me. When you love, you love the good and the bad. All of us have flaws.

Which leads me to thinking and praying and hoping my dad is right.

"Your thirties and forties are better because you know what you're working with". The twenties have been horrible... glad they're coming to a close, to be honest. Still a few months to go but I feel thirty already.

The last event for me to cover. I knew soon to be cop was someone special... I'm sure future blogs will reflect that fully.

Ahh... just got a text. My beloved says he's sorry. Maybe once I take a break, my beloved can become my beloved again.

Almost lost my uncle, the baby was born, a friendship has probably been forever altered, I've got a boyfriend now, and life goes on as usual. But, I'm feeling strangely zen. In my eyes I'm ready to make peace with everyone. So, make peace I shall.