The Forgotten Level

It's just a part of my life. And I'm almost certain, especially while breathing through it and right after coming out of it, it's one of the levels of hell that Dante forgot to write about. It's depression. And I'm back from it. It's almost like a vacation... you stop communicating with others effectively and you start to get wrapped up in all you can't seem to do. Except it's a vacation that no one would pay money for. I felt a huge amount of pride for going to the bank yesterday and asking the teller for something. I'm capable, without issue, on most days but yesterday I felt relieved after my small encounter with her via speaker. I felt like "I am capable of something. I'm able to do something". Because when you're stuck, I mean really, really stuck... there's almost nothing you're certain you are able to do. The complete opposite of mania, really when you think you can do anything or be anyone, without fail. I barely moved yesterday and speaking felt funny but around 4pm, it lifted. And hell that is physical and emotional depression left my apartment... at least for the time being. I feel good again. Like myself again. No problem. Quiet mind. The only fear I have is not if it will happen again... but when. It's almost a guarantee that it will happen again and there's only so much I can do to avoid it. For now, I can get back into my routine. As I plan to today, not only after work but while I'm here. I'm back to my life and feeling right with it again.

Ahhhh......