Oppurtunities to Not Be Bitter

When does my frustration bleed onto other people? When do I let myself get annoyed because there's something not right in me? Basically, everytime something is bothering me. Yup. EVERYTIME.

I can't take much more of certain things. Negativity. Because I feel so generally negative myself. Been waiting for something good to come my way for a long time. Even if I don't believe I deserve it, I think rationally I do. I'm trying to learn to accept myself as human. That not all of my thoughts which aren't positive don't make me worthless or bad. That those skeletons in the closet are just memories I don't have to dwell on anymore.

I have told myself I would not get bitter. Yet, I'm finding myself slowly getting bitter. And I'm scared of that. I guess in some ways I am looking to be saved but I'm the only one who can do the saving here. Generally.

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other? (God in Evan Almighty)