Blue Sky Covered

Sometimes you walk out of a place or a situation and you wonder what just happened. But, overall, you know it didn't feel good. I came home last night wondering that exact thing and I still haven't shaken the feeling.

Wish I could because now everything's looking kind of gray. As in gray skies. Not that they've lifted for very long lately. But, I know I saw blue skies on the horizon. Monday night I did. And then I got the phone call about my mom. Ever since, it's been getting ready to rain.

Right before my dad called me on Monday, I was starting to sense myself coming back to myself. The creativity I lost over the years. The feeling of freedom that comes with being alone. While I'm not totally against having someone to share my life with, I also know where I want to be on my own. And then, it was disrupted. And it's been a real tripping down the path kind of experience ever since.

I could visualize my dreams momentarily. I could see what I want. And then the storm clouds moved in. And briefly, last night, they started to disappear. I forgot about my troubles and I enjoyed myself. But... then... a little while later I left thinking I just wanted to get out of there and how I wasn't feeling so good anymore. What went wrong? Is there something so wrong with me that all my interactions from here on out have to feel awkward? No one did anything to me but something went wrong. It was subtle and it was not handled well by the other party. So, here I am wondering what will become of some of the people around me.

What will become of me?