Character Speech

Well... I am now up to 17 minutes on my bike. I think the problem is the gears. I don't know how to change them properly. I'll get it down eventually. Guess I should read that owner's manual thing that came with it.

Today is a rough one. As many days lately have been. I find myself having to face myself. (Not that I'm usually one to run away from it.) But, I'm trying to face my life. And my mistakes. My many, many mistakes. One mistake after another since I was 18. It started when I moved out of the house in a rush and just fumbled it's way since then. I regret though I wouldn't choose any other life. Because this one is mine. And I hurt because the pile of life, the results of all my mistakes and missteps are on top of me. Little by little, I chip away at them but sometimes this weight just feels too heavy. And then I am reminded that I actually feel that I am somehow not as good as others. Still... I know I've grown. And I know I treat people right. Or I try to. And that is my one pride even if it does sometimes make me "too nice".

A scene from a favorite movie of mine keeps going through my head. Because on days like today is resonates within the deepest part of me. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PkOc-B64dY