One Thing

If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something
- Finger Eleven, One Thing

When you walk into my apartment, there are magazines scattered about staring at you.  All sorts of faces - some famous, some not so famous, some are actual pictures, some are drawn.  When you walk into my bedroom, there are bookshelves - not as full as I would like but they are there.  When you walk to the side of my bed, there is a pile of papers, books, magazines, and everything in between.  Directly next to my bed, on the nightstand is another pile.  Of books I am currently reading and my journal.  At the end of my bed there are clothes scattered on a deacon's bench as well as a small pile of unused journals, which I am sure will be full one day - at least I hope so.

The one thing I feel I am lacking that I need to seriously look into getting is a desk.  A real one.  I found one at Ikea and just haven't had the chance to go get it yet.  Mostly because I haven't actually dedicated myself to it quite yet.  Not that buying a desk should truly take dedication.  But, apparently, in my case... it should.  It's ultimately part of the bigger picture.  Part of the dream.

Slowly but surely my dream is actually coming together in one neat, little package.  And it's becoming a bit more tangible, a bit more doable, a bit more everything I want it to be.  The dream offers variety, which is something I need (or maybe just want), it offers an opening of the mind that little else does, it offers a potential lifestyle that I believe I can manage to live with.  It will take some sacrifice, yes.  But - anything worth doing will require some sacrifice indeed. 

Reading and writing, writing and reading - in my eyes, it doesn't get better than this.  What if I knew all about this one thing?  Wouldn't that be something?  But - what would this one thing be?  Literature.  What if I knew all about it?  Is it possible to dedicate my life to it?  Is it possible to at least try?  I think it might be.  And I am going to do my best to give it a go.  Now that espanol is wrapping up tomorrow, it's time for me to step out into the world that I love.  Up until now it has been SO many classes that just couldn't keep my interest - almost all of which were lost on me, often because of my youth but now - for me - it's about beginning to really explore what my mind is made of.  I am beginning a new journey.  One that settles into my bones as if I have finally found my home.  The restlessness that once captivated me seems to have fallen away and everything I have been looking for somehow falls into place - calm, cool, collected.  I can't see precisely how everything is going to work but I can finally begin to imagine it all in a coherent, attainable sense.  The possibilities within the realm of this "one thing" are almost endless - a final resting place for those other dreams that have come and gone.