Any Food Left?

On my fridge hangs a magnet with a picture of two friends on it.  A future bride and groom.  The magnet asks me to save the date (or directs me to - depending on how you look at it).  For this, I am thankful.  I can put it in my phone and make sure that the date really is saved.  I am glad that I won't have to worry about working that day or that I won't double book myself.  For someone like me - who's overtime schedule is planned out three months in advance - I am grateful.  Especially when it's something I am really going to want to do.  Such as Spice's party or weddings of those near and dear to my heart.  Save the dates (whether by magnet, email or text - or even by phone call) make me happy.  They make my life easier.  And just that much less stressful.

But - you know what doesn't make me happy?  Getting a "save the date" two days before the date I am supposed to be saving.  Having received a text just like this yesterday I can't help but go "hmm..."  (Queue C+C Music Factory.)  Multiple things struck me about this.  First and foremost that this text was clearly sent out to other people... most likely prior to when it was sent to me - my guess would be much earlier than when it was sent to me.  Being invited as a side note never makes one feel completely wanted wherever one is being invited to.  The second thing that struck me was simply that this invite was maybe a courtesy - maybe someone didn't want me to see the party going on and feel bad about not inviting me - since it's going to be next door and all.  Still doesn't exactly make you feel wanted.  Though at least there is some concern.  The third thing that got me was when the "save the date" text asked me to bring money for spending.  Yeah... no thanks.  I'm not keen on having to show up to a party I am invited to with money (I probably would have anyway - just because that's what most people in America do - we carry around at least some money, when at all possible).  The question pops to mind - what are you going to try to sell me?  Will I have to sit through a demonstration of some sort?  If so, that sucks.  I don't consider those parties actual "parties".  Not one bit.  They're a sales pitch, nothing more, nothing less.  Yes, even the sex toy parties.  If I want to buy a sex toy, I know where the stores are... and I know how to get online.

And the final thing that popped into my head (besides feeling grateful that I have a date on Friday with someone I am hoping is as awesome as he has been on the phone), was the response I received when I said I might stop by if I happen to be around during party time... that I already had plans... "Do you have a folding table?".  Not "ok" or "hope to see you" or anything of this nature.  Nope.  A request for something.  Ahh... motive for inviting me at all comes out.  Before being able to ask me for anything... you felt the need to invite me first.  Makes sense though the truth is... even if I had a folding table (which I don't), I very well might keep it to myself in this situation.  On several occasions this friendship has made me stop and think about it.  And on this occasion, I am fine with just letting it go.

I won't call you "slut" or "whore" when we part ways, I won't accuse you of trying to steal my money (unless you actually did steal my money) and I won't live in the shallow end of the pool just because that's what some people do.  I don't look a certain way, I don't talk a certain way and I don't bother worrying about trying to be anything in particular any longer.  I don't worry about if my friends are "cool" enough to hang out with, I just look for the person inside.  If I, for some reason, do not fit into someone's idealized image of who they want to hang with - so be it.  Life is too short to worry about it.  And the energy I would spend on worrying about it needs to go to other things at this point.  Namely, my life.