Narcolepsy Avoided

Ok... ladies and gentlemen... here are some new dating rules. You will notice that some of them are very customized. That's just the way it has to be sometimes.

1) Show up for a date when you have made one. This may seem like a no-brainer to most but apparently it's common place enough that we have a phrase for it. "Stood up". If you have changed your mind, technology has you covered. A quick text can take care of the situation without wasting much of anyone's time.

2) Do not fall asleep prior to going on a date. Unless you are a narcoleptic, you should not just randomly be falling asleep without an awareness of what is going on. If you do choose to take a nap, set your alarm.

3) If you do happen to randomly find yourself in twilight - do not try to use it as an excuse for why you did not show up to your date. It is insulting - unless, again, you have narcolepsy. Having two beers over dinner should never make a grown man pass out. That is frightening.

4) When you apologize for not showing up for a date - mean it. Do not then ask your date to come hang out at your place. This is very simply in bad taste. If anything, you should be coming to them. You are the one who screwed up.

*** An add-on for the boys: a girl with a decent head on her shoulders is not going to go to your house if she has never met you before - quite frankly, that would be beyond stupid - it's like waving yourself down to play chicken with a car. Especially if you connected online. If you are looking to attack the girl, seek serious help. If you are innocently asking her to come to a strange place to visit you when you have never met before - this is weird and should be avoided by both of you. You will scare most decent women off this way. Not saying there aren't women who would be into it - but that's why Craig's List has a section for "casual encounters". This is not why the average woman joins a dating website.***

*** An add-on for the girls: NEVER go to a guy's home for a date if you have not met him prior and feel comfortable with him. Not all of these guys are going to hurt you but some of them will - I would not recommend playing a guessing game with your life. If he is recommending getting you to his place so early on... question it. At it's most innocent, he's just lame. At it's worst, we may find your picture on a milk carton. In the middle... he's at least just hoping to get laid with no actual effort put forth. Everyone deserves effort.***

5) When your no-show date apologizes, accept the apology but do not accept a second try. There will be times you are really compelled to for some outstanding reason - of course, you could be right. However, keep in mind that if this is how a relationship begins, it is highly likely this is how it will continue. You only get one shot to make a first impression. A first date is only supposed to happen ONCE.

6) Vocalize what they did wrong if they do not seem to understand it. Be clear and concise. It is no use going on and on about anything, you are not in a relationship and most likely will never be. Use one to three lines at the most. Do not bother telling them about your feelings. If they didn't care enough to worry about how not showing would make you feel - they aren't going to care now. Wish them luck as a good gesture. (You ARE the better person here.) Then watch their response or lack thereof.

7) Move on knowing that they screwed up, it's not something about you... they are simply some of the rudest of the rude. If they did not even bother to apologize or let you know what happened... you really lucked out that they didn't show. You have just avoided awful.

8) There are exceptions to every rule but be careful about what exceptions you will allow. If the date does not show because of a bona-fide emergency, for instance, make your judgement about whether or not you believe the story and then make your plans again. This time, however, try to insist they come to you in some aspect. A bar or restaurant or coffee house near your place instead of in the middle. Just in case their emergency was not exactly real after all.