Brachioradalis

Once in a while, someone comes along that dashes your hopes. Dashes everything you are hoping to be and everything you are working toward. Within seconds they can manage to turn your future into a hope for nothing. A hope worth avoiding, a hope worth giving up on. They can tell you how hard it is going to be and how you have to pay for your own benefits.

Yes, I am aware of this.

And then you ask yourself... what about the faith you felt yesterday or earlier or even this morning? How can one person, close to you or not, wipe that away? With one small brush of the hand - like a streak of blue in a sunset? A painter painting away his thoughts, his hopes, his desire to keep going?

Is it time to hang it up?

For some, the answer very well may be yes. For me, no. Does it make me want to go back to the drawing board? Yes. Will I? No.

Because just as sure as I am that I have a brachioradalis, I am sure that she or he or it does too. That thing that says "no, you can't" because deep down inside he or she or it does not want you to. The reason for not wanting you to? Because they didn't. Because you only live once... and security (or the illusion of) is all that matters.

Right?

Writing certain things down in my blog helps me to memorize... any clue which word I might mean? I have no choice but to keep going. Happiness and peace and love and my writing depend on it. My life - and all I will leave behind and pass on - depend on the future I have been waiting upon.

I refuse to give up.