The Flavor of Bland

"If you don't like it fuck you."

- Christina Aguilera, Not Myself Tonight

I am not, never have been and most likely never will be a prude. There are a few (or maybe more than just a few) people who can attest to this fact. Anyone who knows me well knows this is a fact of my existence. Yes, even my parents are aware though I do not go around throwing it in their faces. It's a respect thing. They do not, will not and need not see certain sides of me. They are my parents, not friends or more...

I don't mind hearing about sex. I don't mind talking about sex. I don't mind the idea of sex. I obviously like to have sex. I do think it's something special but I don't overly romanticize it at all times. Even in the most loving and amazing of circumstances and relationships, it is often done for plain ol' fun. Being sexual (though I have to admit I do struggle with it while I have this extra weight on me right now) is part of who I am. I do not like to go too long (though I have at times because not everyone is right for the part of one side of my bed) and I do get crankier than I probably should if waiting too long is on the agenda. I do not mind seeing sexual messages, art and the like unless they are inaccurate. And as of late much of what I am seeing, in my opinion, is inaccurate.

Threesomes are not usually a fun romp around the bedroom and "four on the floor" is not for everyone. In fact, it is not for most. Not everyone is truly attracted to both men and women. Ok... not all women are attracted to both men and women. How often do you see men making out with men and saying things in songs like "I'm kissing on the boys and the girls"? Most people would squirm at that thought and turn the radio dial... and as we saw with Adam Lambert - it can and will cause actual outrage from the public. (That, however, is for another blog - another day.) While being gay or bixsexual is in many ways a very normal part of life for many, pretending to be gay or bisexual in order to sell more records is just a sad state of affairs. A few musical artists have pulled off raw sexuality really very well. In an accurate light. Tori Amos, Debbie Harry (Blondie), Shakira, Alanis, Janet. There are others as well. Plenty of others.

What did these women have in common with the video vixens of today? Sexuality. What did they have that the Xtinas and Britneys of today seem to be lacking? Power over their sexuality. I do not outright dislike Christina or Britney, I feel bad for them. I would even still call myself a fan of some of their work, just not all of their recent work. They feel the need to basically sell themselves to their audiences using less than their talent. They feel the need to shock the people who have tuned in and turned up over the years. Is it because we demand it? Maybe. Is it because we want it? I am not so sure. There is something to be said for the air of mystery that seems to be disappearing. In many ways we no longer have to wonder what it would be like to have sex with these female entertainers. You kind of have the feeling you might already know. They have officially shown us too much.

Of course, at this moment in time I would be poorly covering the topic at hand if I did not mention the top four current pop stars out there... Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Taylor Swift. Are all of these women talented? Without much doubt. Do they all seem to have sold their bodies instead of their art? No. All four seem to me to be hitting the nail on the head. Does Lady Gaga sometimes go too far? Possibly. But - she never seems like she's trying to outdo anyone but herself. She seems to be running her own race. And hearing her recent comments about celibacy and getting to know the people you sleep with before sleeping with them... well... she seems to have more substance to her than one might think by just watching her videos. Her videos and performances are not for just anyone, they are racy but I do not recall any lyrics about rolling around on the floor with multiple lovers and proclaiming that it's "innocent, just for fun and nothing meant". Rihanna - she goes into some dark territory with her lyrics and music but she doesn't seem to be willing to sell out to what society would be so-called telling her is necessary. Beyonce - well - in many ways she's a classic already and while I do not enjoy her style of dress most of the time - she exudes talent and charm and respect for herself. She does not seem to think a strip tease and bondage gear is the only way to sell her records. Lastly, we cannot forget Taylor Swift. If innocence ever made a record, it was in the form of Romeo and Juliet.

Both Britney and Christina Aguilera are getting a little older. Not old, younger than yours truly but older than Lady Gaga or Rihanna. They should be past the age of feeling like they need to be super dirty to sell. Unless it is exactly that - their age - that is getting to them. They almost seem trapped to follow the follies of Madonna. Yet, I wonder... will they find themselves with an album as wonderful as Ray of Light after they have revealed too much to us as well? Will they then be prepared to reveal the real them - sensuality mixed with the mind and maybe a little spirituality just for kicks? (Referring again to "Ray of Light" - Madge's later works were boring in comparison.) They have both had babies and one has had immense troubles in the wake of some sort of mental breakdown. Do I respect both for what they originally brought to the table? Absolutely. Britney is an entertainer. Her voice is not the top of the line by a long shot but she used to know what to give her fans. She used to dance, she used to make her audience also feel like dancing... she made it look easy. Now she wiggles around holding onto an overhead pole and the feelings that come inside range from lackluster to disgust to disappointment. The truth is, I don't want my 15 year old niece getting the wrong idea. Sex has it's emotional, mental and physical tolls. It is not all fun and games, it is something to be shared with people who mean something very real to you and it also creates life. There is no way around that one. Imagine, if you will... having your threesome and creating a baby... who's the daddy? Scary thought, right? As adults we know this possibility exists and we think the idea (for most of us) is a gross one. For teenagers, it turns them on because they have little to no hormone control. The long term idea of getting pregnant, while known in a two plus two equals four type of way, does not fully scare the average teenager it seems. Makes sense since their brains are not fully developed and they are more often than not unable to fully comprehend the long term effects of their actions. But, back to the hormones side of it - it is those very hormones that will leave them feeling hurt when Johnny Playboy from their football team leaves right after getting off. Kids today are being led to believe that sex is nothing but a game to be played when they are bored. Strangely, I do believe, they are wondering why it all hurts so much after the fact. Why is it not like it looks on our recent music videos?

Why do I feel funny about using a ball gag tonight? Hmm...

Christina Aguilera has got a vocal range... a talent that is hard to match. She is brilliant when she really chooses to sing. This is what I would like to see from her... hear from her... and I do not believe I am alone. "If you don't like it fuck you." Alright and no thanks. Could we not make at least a little extra effort in our lyrics... aren't there more clever ways to say "I don't care what you have to say, I'm having fun." Does it have to carry with it the weight of hostility? Or are you not so sure yourself, dear Xtina, that maybe the people you are flipping off might be right... they may not like it because the truth is, they do and want to like you? And some of us, just a few - maybe more, maybe lots more... do not like being abandoned for those who are not willing to think certain things through - no matter how catchy they may be.

Yes, "3" is catchy. "Not Myself Tonight" is catchy. "If You Seek Amy" is catchy. "Promiscuous" is catchy. (And, yes, I am aware that's Nelly Furtado.) Sex is catchy but all of these begin to be bland once they get stripped down to a level where real humanity has been forgotten.

Our modern society is engaged in polishing and decorating the cage in which man is kept imprisoned. ~Swami Nirmalananda, Enlightened Anarchism