The Fear Monster

Been doing some reading about taking the road less traveled, walking one's own path and the like. And then, after reading just a few articles I realize what I am looking to gain from these articles.

I'm looking to gain confidence.

Not so much confidence in my ability but confidence that I am getting prepared to make the right choices. Confidence that it will all turn out alright in the end. Confidence that I will land on my feet and not end up homeless and hungry in some crappy inner city. (Ok, that is a bit dramatic.) Yet, there are no guarantees. I just know, after doing a bit of reading, that I still want to strive for those things I am looking toward. Whether they are guaranteed or not, I still want to proceed. Mostly because, well, there is no good reason for me not to.

Fear? Bah! I can't let that control me. There's no point in stressing, really. Because all that stress and all that fear that comes before the end of the race is just wasted energy. This, I know, is not an original viewpoint but it is one I have adopted.

I have plenty of exciting strides and risks to take, starting within the next year. Starting with studying now. Spice pointed out that I may just have to disappear for a bit. Or somewhat, at least. I hate to admit it but this is the truth. I was trying to figure out how else I can juggle everything... it just isn't possible. There is only so much room in my life, so much time, I should say. I have to figure out my priorities... even if I am afraid of feeling estranged from my friends and family. Again, there it is... fear.