It's A Life

The last week has been pretty tough for me. I nearly ignored my medical needs two weekends in a row which sent me spiraling out of control. Plus, the discomfort I've felt with someone I love became forefront in my mind. It hurt. In a way that I haven't hurt since prior to get medication going through my veins. I screwed myself up but I'm not going to let it get me down too much. I refuse to take myself out back and slap myself with a switch about this. I'm human and I'm young and I'd really like to just be able to live a good, non-complicated life.

There will always be complications but I'm starting to get used to the idea of relaxing alot more. It hasn't been easy yet but it's getting there. And now that I've been almost completely back on track with my medications for almost a week, it's going better. And I've taken a step to talk something out with one of my favorite people, even if it's scary to do.

Talking about my emotions is alot harder for me than I realized. At least in a one on one capacity. When I've tried, I usually failed but I've got to get myself back up and try again. I need to be able to do it though. If I ever really want the healthy relationships that I strive for, I've got to say what I'm feeling sometimes. When it bothers me as much as it did this last week, I really need to put it out there. It's a new goal.

As for my non-busy schedule keeping, I'm doing well. It was nice to go visit mom on her birthday because I didn't have something scheduled.

Tomorrow, I have to write up my restaurant week review for the examiner. And I have to post it. And I'll do the around the house kind of stuff before coming to work. My old life used to sound so much more exciting to me. Now it seems dull in comparison. Weird.

Ok - stream of consciousness post over.