Watching My Back

Boy I gotta watch my back 'cause I'm not just anybody
- Aaliyah, Are You That Somebody

All I'm looking for in a guy is simple. Someone to have fun with, someone I'm attracted to, someone to talk with and someone who treats me as well as I treat him. Is this list too long?

Yes, there are other things that can be a turn-on, turn-off. Calling me a whore, even as a joke on our first date is a no-go. Those kinds of things are just previews of the disrespect that I can expect later. I'd like you to be able to bring to the table the things I can bring. A license, a job and a place of your own. I can deal with the no place of your own, if the circumstances are right. I can deal with that if you're in between homes. It happens. I would know.

When a guy you like, a guy who fits the bill comes along, it's exciting. I was happy. Really, really happy. However, now he wants to talk about things. Which means I'm probably going to have to swallow the disappointment and move along. There are no guarantees until we've actually spoken about it but - ugh - I don't want to keep dating losers. This one was so not a loser, he is awesome. But - if the timing is off, what can one do?

Dammit. I've experienced enough of the dating world. I'd like to slide into the real thing. You know, someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. It's a bit on the tough side, the idea of thinking positive right now. I'd rather think negative and be pleasantly surprised than think positively and have the rug pulled out from under me. It's easier that way. During my time in the playing field, that's one thing I've learned about the guys I get involved with. I should be used to disappointment by now but I don't know that it's ever something you really get used to. You always feel it, no matter how much you watch your back.