Two Instead of Twenty

And I quote "sometimes people just rip your heart and piss on your feelings". End quote. I should not have responded to begin with but this guy makes me a bit nervous for reasons I will not go into right now. Suffice it to say, I've got a heart for those who appear a little less than stable. But I will not doubt myself anymore, it seems. Am I strong enough to simply allow him to have ill feelings toward me? Yup. That is his problem, not mine. Am I strong enough to still try not to sling shit back in his direction? Sure. Sometimes we all need mercy. Did I apologize? Yes. Last week. I will not apologize again. If he didn't hear it the first time, he's not going to hear it the second or third.

Meanwhile... I'm stuck thinking about how the moral thing, the right thing to do here is what occurred. As soon as I realized it was not going to happen without me going against my better judgment, I stopped it. (Or tried to.) Do you really want to date someone who's with you out of guilt? Or someone who doesn't share your feelings? It has got to be right from the beginning for me. I don't want to stick around anymore to discover that you can't force the real thing.

I did the loving thing, even if he doesn't see it. Simple as that. As someone who waited for two years for a guy to do the right thing (which never came to pass - up to and including yesterday), I will not treat anyone else as though they don't matter, only what I want matters. This is not brain surgery. It is easier to handle being rejected or rejecting after two dates instead of twenty. Much easier.