Walking the World

Walking, walking, walking, walking. Chatting, chatting, chatting, chatting.

You can spend hours just walking, not thinking about the time that's passing or what else you could be doing when you have someone to walk with. When you walk alone, it's so much easier to get lost in how quickly you can get home so you can do this... or do that.

My friend and I walked and walked last night. First around the river and then to Wawa and back. Got myself a late night sandwich, should have eaten dinner beforehand but that turkey hoagie tasted crazy good, even at 11:30 at night. As we walked, we talked. Mostly about her and her relationship troubles. Something beautiful appears to be dying or has already died, hard to tell quite yet. Loss is never fun, even when you're on the giving end of it. Even when you're the one to call it quits. That is... if you have a heart.

Time does that though. And I've been finding, as my twenties are rounding up to a close that the last few years, especially the last year has brought significant changes about what I want, how I see things and simply how I understand the processes we have to go through just to get through. Having children becomes very important to many a woman, I'm not going to speak for men exactly but I imagine it's the same for them as well. Time to procreate, people. As Marisa Tomei mentioned in My Cousin Vinny "my biological clock is ticking like this".

Not for me so much though I'm simply finding myself viewing certain aspects of the romantic relationship differently. What I want, what I need, how much I'm willing to take my time. Most days, I am content with being alone, not panicking about the one or who the next person in my bed will be. I'm not pushing for anything, I just want laughter and a companion whose company I thoroughly enjoy. It's not more complicated than that. Let's just get to know each other and see if our lives work in the meshing sense. I'll know it's the real thing by the way I'm treated and the way I want to treat him.

I've been through my massive break up and I like who I am on the other side. Better than I ever did before. Partially because I think about it now and I can't honestly say I remember doing that in the disappearing decade. Partially because life has given me some bruises but those bruises have healed.

I feel for my friend and gave her what I could for advice though her journey is her own and it's one no one else can dictate. As we walked along the main street in my town, headed to Wawa, for a moment I felt the intense desire for her to know what I know. What I know about being alone and what I know about how true love is supposed to be. I wanted for a moment, desperately, for her to have the experience of something beautiful, something free, something filled with laughter and compassion.

What I want for both of us, for all my friends is for them to know the freedom that a healthy relationship will bring. When I find it, I'll know it because I'll be able to do with them what the title of this blog means. No more, no less.