Inch and Foot

It really is not all that simple to explain. I guess it's a mixed episode. I'm feeling constantly stuck at the moment. Racing thoughts have taken hold and, unfortunately, they're all negative thoughts. Mostly snippits of bad memories and thoughts of anger about the situation I'm finding myself in related to work.

I am really, honestly, completely at my wit's end when it comes to the shift changes. I'm having an issue with getting up in the morning in order to get anything done. Seems the only time I can get myself out of bed early anymore is if I have to be to work on a normal day shift. Otherwise, I sleep late and too much and that's not helping either. Don't get me wrong, getting up in the morning hasn't been my friend since I was a kid but I'm finding that the other things I want and need to do in life just don't feel pressing enough to make me force my eyes open. And I end up sleeping in every day. This is not something to me, that is anywhere near as enjoyable as it sounds. I'm oversleeping, which isn't helping to keep my moods stablized.

I'm frustrated and venting and tired of this. Won't be getting better until September, I just hope it doesn't get too much worse. My life needs to work in conjunction with my medication. There are other things I need to do too... exercise and really eating right, both of which have taken a seat next to this fucking work schedule.

I don't know... are supervisors allowed to just toss doctor's notes aside because it's just more convenient for them? I gave him an inch by saying weekends, ok. Weeknights, occasionally... ok. And he took a foot.