Miracle of Change

Attending a party this weekend, I found myself meeting a rather large amount of new folks. Almost none of them were people I had laid eyes on before except the hostess and her best friend. Both of which are awesome people. Strangely, and excitedly, I found myself not so shy and willing to speak, willing to join in on a conversation even if it wasn't exactly directed at me. When you're sitting in a circle, you have to assume all conversation is open conversation.

It used to be that I would be intimidated. Not only intimidated but sort of lost from that feeling of initimidation. I wouldn't have joined in, I would have just sat quietly, forgetting that I had something or anything to add. I would have just been still and nervous to move for fear of falling out of my chair randomly or making some sort of gigantic cosmic size fool of myself. For all I know, I did make a cosmic sized fool of myself but I don't care. I had fun throwing in my stories and my two cents. Some got laughs, some got ignored, and some led to others' stories and led into other conversations.

I felt pretty comfortable, pretty ok with just being myself. Honestly, I think some of it is training from all the meetups, some of it is therapy, and some of it is just simply a sign of growth. Whatever has made the difference, I know one thing, I'm glad to be here and not back there, where I used to be.

Thank God for tiny miracles. The miracle of change.