Dead and Gone

I've been travelin
On this road too long
Just trying to find
My way back home
The old me
Is dead and gone
Dead and gone

-Dead and Gone, TI feat Justin Timberlake


I will go to therapy today. And I'll sit across from my therapist. And I'll probably just shake me head, smile huge and say... here's my list of what I need from someone for the relationship to be a success. At least on my side. The list looks nothing like it would have years ago. And it's taken quite some time for me to figure it out. The list isn't long. Six things, total. And, no, I'm not going to share them at this time.

The cutest boy ever is gone. I'm done with it. First I was frustrated. Then I found myself feeling bored with the situation. And last, I just decided I don't enjoy being treated badly by anyone. Even him.

And I let it go, with no desire go any further. With no desire to even go to the dinner he told me he'd take me to.

Now there's someone new in the picture. We can't seem to stop communicating with each other. I haven't gotten butterflies like this in about, oh, 11.5 years. That's when I was eighteen folks, that's when I first found a connection with my ex. And if it turns out that this amazing feeling is the beginning of something that's meant to last eight years or beyond, like before... I will be dubbing him "the best guy ever". But, for now... we'll call him "wait and see".

Buh-bye cutest boy ever. You really, really don't deserve that title anymore so I'm stripping you of the crown. Took me way too long to get here but I like where here has landed me.