Not So Shame On You

"Which one are you?" I didn't answer except with my first name. There was no way any stories about me would be remembered. Or, I doubt it at least. Her bereaved didn't press me beyond that.

Started my day with a viewing, which set a strange tone for the rest of it. And I hung out at my parents' house for a while due to the holdup of the dryer. My mom's things were still damp so I had to wait around for a bit. And I simply didn't feel like going home, just to come back twenty minutes later. In the meantime, I watched "Inside the Actor's Studio". John Travolta was the actor being interviewed this time. He was surprisingly down to earth and normal-like. Until he mentioned being a Scientologist, that is. Sorry - I just don't buy into that religion one iota. Still, if it helps you to be who you like being, it's your choice and I'll try to respect it as that.

I'm slightly cranky now as I sit here typing this. Just not in the mood for much of anything.

John Travolta mentioned being a very confident person and even when his career was on a downward spiral, he claims he did not let it affect him in a negative way. Prior to Pulp Fiction is when he was referring to. Since then things have certainly looked up. Until, of course, the sad loss of his son recently. That's a heartache no parent should ever have to endure. And I do respect him as an actor, he's a very good one. And he said many very deep and intricate and respectable things. However, he went on to say about people "shame on you". Shame on them for letting other people's attacks make them feel like a lesser person. And everyone clapped.

But - I wonder... of all the people who clapped, who's self esteem is achingly low? I don't agree with a "shame on you" mentality. Though it is every individual's job to make themselves feel good about themselves in the end, some people are never taught that or how to get there. I understand that what Mr. Travolta was saying was ultimately reverse psychology but still, I really can't help but wonder how many people who were clapping and cheering for him in the studio were actually wondering what he meant. Or if they actually disagreed with him because they simply feel like crap because they haven't been taught accurately.

I wonder how many hypocrites sat there clapping.

My belief is that one of our jobs, here in this world is simple. We're supposed to help lift each other up. So, instead of saying "shame on you", how about we just simply say "why would it bother me?". And then go on to explain it from your point of view. Lead by example, maybe and maybe other people will see in you inspiration instead of feeling condemned for something that many people don't even recognize as a problem.

People do have to be responsible for themselves, I agree with this completely. But, wouldn't it be nice if we didn't expect everyone to always be where we are in their evolution? I struggle with this myself, sometimes getting very frustrated with people, without full justification. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just go about our lives and make other people think "I want that for myself..." and then maybe help them to get it. Whatever "it" may be. Once you hear something enough times about yourself, it becomes very easy to believe. "Shame on you" is nothing more than self condemnation, if one chooses to internalize it. Maybe a little understanding and a little "well, you're only human but there's no reason to let other's opinions matter to you more than your own".

Maybe...