Michael Jackson

A long, long time ago...I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile

-American Pie, Don McLean

On my way to work on Thursday morning, in my usual groggy fog I stumbled across American Pie and blasted it. Little did I realize what the day had in store.

My parents bought me my first CD player. The same one that's sitting in my living room as I'm writing this. I'd had a love affair with music for years before but that CD player would change my life.

My first CD?

Michael Jackson - Dangerous

It was a new CD at the time. Newly released for Christmas season, 1991. It's the same album Black or White was on and my personal favorite - Give Into Me. Slash rocked out with Michael in that song, which is one hell of a collaboration. I had his other two preceding albums on tape but tape died just as quickly as CDs were released.

So, as the news spread Thursday afternoon, I sent out a few texts and I felt crushed, slightly surreal. Was this for certain? He was supposed to start a world tour, which he may have been practicing for when he hit the floor.

In both my lifetime and the lifetime before, only a few people have risen to the same caliber. And the last one standing completely is Madonna, which isn't saying much. Madge'll probably live to be 100. Some of the Beatles have already passed and, of course, Elvis is no longer with us.

For many of us 80's babies Michael just was. He rose to his heights with Thriller. And what a thrill it was. While messing with the neighbor, who is a few years younger, his roommates were watching the Thriller video one night. They had never seen it and I remember shaking my head at the time. I'd been watching that thing since it was made. More than 20 years before.

Michael had his troubles, that is a certain fact. His death, too early probably could not have come sooner for him. He lived a tortured life, rhinestone glove and all.

I personally never thought he did "it". That they were just going after his money. Yes, even the second time. What better case does one have if the person blamed has been blamed before? By the same token, that could also point to the fact that he did it, of course. Neither you nor I will ever really know for certain. And I do hope his acquittal was an acquittal for the right reasons. However, we should not let that tarnish what he was as an artist.

Michael Jackson was an icon, born to be one. Born to be a tragic figure, much like James Dean and Marilyn Monroe, as well as Elvis, of course. But his energy and his expertise and his talent cannot be understated because one moment of a performance from him was closer than most of us will ever be to perfecting one's art. Yes, dance is an art form. He is a legend. And he was a talent unsurpassed by anyone since. Genius usually comes with a price tag that most of us would be unwilling to pay.

His career and talent, his sheer ability to have actually changed the world. Which he did. He did so by entertaining. He did so by being weird. He did so by creating. He did so by living out his fate for all of us to see. Would you be willing to do the same? His influence touched so many, many in ways they don't even necessarily know.

I hope Michael got to go home Thursday afternoon, for the first time finding peace in safe and loving arms. No crowds to make him feel isolated and lonely. A dream of mine died on Thursday, along with MJ, which was to get to see him live in concert. But if I have to give that up so he can rest, I will happily say "catch you later".