The Circles on the Floor Look Like Blood Platelets

Guys. They really are wonderful creatures. Incredibly wonderful, beautiful, and amazing. Well, some of them. Except the douchebags.

When you meet a girl and her friends... don't tell a disgusting joke about blondes in offices knowing it's none of the guys on this floor based on a semen sample. That's repulsive. And stupid. And your breath stinks anyway. Please back up. Don't tell a girl's friends that the two gay guys over there "make you want to toss your cookies". That will only lead certain girls, such as myself, to call you a douchebag to your face. He didn't appreciate it but I meant it.

And he knew it. The problem wasn't so much that he isn't comfortable being around homosexuals. That's a personal emotion that I can't judge in and of itself. He may not understand it. The problem was that he tried to say he had no problem with it but seeing it makes him sick. That means he has a problem with it and is concerned about the fact that he knows he sounds like an ass but doesn't want people to think he is one. Stand behind your words if you're going to say them. And if you say you don't have a problem with something, don't turn around and say something contradictory, douchebag.

And if you have a problem with being around homosexuals, don't go to clubs they frequent. And don't even begin to think that you and I are on the same wavelength just because we live in the same town. "All the way" across from each other in a tiny little town. I may be a girl but I know what a small town is. Douchebag.