Locus of Control

"No, I'm not lucky, I'm blessed, yes"
- Nikki Minaj feat Drake, Moment 4 Life

One's locus of control is defined as "an individual's view of determinants of events".  (According to a random webpage with no name).  The definition in my personal training book is a bit longer so the prior definition is being used for the mere brevity of it.  From the overall - we can break the locus of control down into two more categories.  Intrinsic and extrinsic.  Reading about these, I had determined that I lean toward the intrinsic side of the road.  So - I took a quiz on it.  I was right (at least according to this one, particular test).  However - I have to admit, some of the answers I gave did end up completely extrinsic.  Not EVERYTHING happens to us because of us only.  There are some things that are placed on us without any effort, mistake, lack of wisdom or oversight on our part.  Genetics, for one, unavoidable accidents, for another, another's thoughtless and/or evil motives coming into your world without provocation (you get mugged or worse), etc.

"An individual's view of determinants of events"... what exactly does this mean all by itself?  Simply put, does life happen to you... or do you happen to life?

The "does life happen to you" would fall into the extrinsic category.  The "do you happen to life" would fall into the intrinsic category.  Is everything in your world a result of happenstance or is everything in your world a result of what you have done, said and been - without the direct help of let's call it... luck?

If you are like me, you believe in a little bit of both though your leanings do fall more often than not, into the intrinsic category.  Why not fully intrinsic?  Simply put, because I believe in more than that.  I believe that we do have certain particular factors (good or bad) that will step out onto the road before you - sometimes to test, sometimes to please, sometimes to direct, sometimes simply to give each of us the richness of the human experience.

I do believe that we are meant to meet certain people to open doors for us (or close them) and I do also believe that many of the struggles we face build us into who we are meant to be.  Whether we like them or not.  Whether we cause them or not.  Which is not to say that some of our struggles are not self-made.  Many of them are.  Or - we at least contribute greatly to them.  (If I hadn't been drinking so damn much... that wouldn't have happened nor would it have continued.  If I had listened to the few brave souls who confronted me about what I wasn't willing to admit, I would have walked out.  So on and so forth...)  Sometimes meeting those people (or situations) is more a test of who you are and what you have become - or has the change you believe has happened not really happened at all?  Back to the drawing board...

I personally believe in God.  And while I do not believe He micro-manages us, I do believe that He will provide ample opportunity to get us where we need to be in order to contribute.  Not everyone follows the path that would be best for them, us or the world at large but that is (more often than not though there are always exceptions) not due to lack of opportunity.  We just have to be willing to put in the work... the sacrifice (sometimes)...  the risks (other times)... the effort to get there.  Sometimes it may require a little research to find out what you need to do in order to be where you want (or hope) to end up.  We have to climb the stairs to get to the landing. 

In short - while it is known and is completely plausible that some outside influences will always - well - influence us and who we are or who we will become, in many ways it's what you decide on the inside that determines the end result of both triumphs and suffering.  You want it?  Go for it!  While something may come along to derail you... or teach you... if you really want it - keep at it.  It does not matter if it takes longer for you than others.  It does not matter if you are doing life out of the "normal" order.  Not everything works out for everybody but it's better to give it a shot than give it up.  Unless, of course, you intrinisically know when to say when.  If this is the path you are really meant to stay on (at least for a while), those doors will open (or close)... one way or another.  And you never know where those doors may end up leading.