Page Seven

Strange when your brain goes numb from studying. That's exactly what happened to me today. It was time to take lunch. (And, yes, I was still doing my work too.) I am only on page seven of my first textbook and I have so much to study already.

Want to know about the heart or the circulatory system? I just might be able to answer you. While I certainly don't know everything about them, I know the basics... almost by heart. In some ways I think I might be studying just a smidge too detailed. In other ways, I really enjoy knowing stuff so it's not a problem to me.

Last night I had a dream. It was about not being ready... there was near nudity in a public place. A restaurant of all places (which makes sense because of the reviews, I suppose). I wasn't completely naked like the naked school dreams that so many of us have had or will have. I was in a towel. (And I was my thin self again, which gives me encouragement... at least my mind is behind me on the weight loss idea.) But, I was walking around the restaurant in this towel and the manager was annoyed. I told him this was ridiculous and that I would put clothes on. After feeling incredibly anxious last night about everything... weight loss, studying, getting my freelancing started... it was no big surprise that I would have another "not ready" dream. Because I am not. Though it does occur to me today, as I have pondered the dream and what it means that it is ok for me to not be ready. I don't need to be quite yet. It is going to take time. Which also means there is no reason that butterflies should be taking residence in my stomach nor that I should find myself stalling my work for fear of making it actually happen.

Page seven out of two hundred and fifty nine. And this is only the first book. Hmm... lots of time to let panic set in but for now it is time for me to simply buckle down and get busy learning the material.