Like the Hot Ovens

Ahhh... I screwed up. I drank too much this weekend, drank too much when I knew I had stuff bothering me. Drank too much and lost control of what I had control over. Namely, my mood. By tomorrow (or at the latest - Wednesday) I should be back to normal. Until then, I plan to keep my mouth shut. Just about everything. No complaints, no condemning. Just going to leave it all be. I wish I hadn't made the mistake but I was fighting off something. Fighting off a few things and I fell into an old pattern.

Dammit. And all I can say is "this too shall pass", even if I don't believe it 100% of the time. What if feeling like this is permanent? (It's not... but when you're feeling it in your chest and down your arms, it feels like it might be forever... even though you know it's not.)

I'll go through the motions tonight and make my way to bed at a decent hour. That way, tomorrow, just maybe, I can wake up and remember the last couple days as nothing more than a distant dream. Much like that hot oven dream I had on Saturday night. My apartment was lucky to have not gone up in flames, in the dream, I remember that much... weird.