Can I Come to Your Surprise Party?

Today's blog may not relate to dating as much as just plain social life though it definitely has a single person's smell on it. Today's lesson in etiquette focuses around parties of people you don't know very well. People who are, say, dating one of your friends. People whom you are cool with but not so cool with that suddenly loyalties rearrange themselves.

The loyalty of a friend should not be so quickly turned about. If it is, it's not a true friendship. Especially when we're old enough to know. Again, I'm generally talking to an adult group here - not kids (aka anyone under 21...)

Here's the exact scenario we're throwing out there:

Friend: Oh, that night I'm going to GEM's surprise party. Let me see if I'm allowed to bring a guest.

Boy friend is dating: (after the conversation is over with friend) Let me just go ahead and facebook message GEM and ask if I can go...

Now, what's wrong with this picture? Let's break it down together, shall we?

1) Friend said she'd check to see if a date was acceptable, you couldn't wait?

2) I know you and I are cool, guy friend is (or I should now say "was") dating, but you've chosen to put me in a bad spot. Trying to come between girlfriends who are actually tight is never a smooth move. What your motives were, I won't even bother trying to figure out.

3) My loyalties will always lay with my friends, not the guy or girl my friend is dating.

4) Didn't you catch the fact that she said "surprise" party? So not cool.

And that's almost all I have to say about that. It's never cool to invite yourself to a party but it's even less cool to try and invite yourself to a party in order to try and manipulate a situation to your advantage. Manipulation is never the mark of a good person. Not that we don't all try to get our way here and there, I believe we all do... but to be so blantant about it and to try and pull something over on a woman you're trying to be with... for shame.