Feeling Kind of Empty

I sat on a friend's couch last night. Rubbing a small mark that I believe was only water. I really hope I didn't stain it. We chatted about what's wrong with me. I love my life but right about now I'm thinking it's empty. I have many, many relationships that are meaningful and many, many meaningful things going on. So... why does it feel this way?

I got the sad news last week about someone very close to me having cancer. He's 29 years old and on Wednesday he gets a body part removed in hopes that the cancer will stop there. He's got a very big place in my heart and I just want to hold him right now. But, I can't. I can, however, make it clear that I do love him. I am no longer in love with him but we spent all those years together, how could I not care? I am on his mom's list of people to call after the surgery and I know he will be ok. Still... it's tense and I hope he's ok even though I know he's not.

Maybe this is what leaves me feeling empty right now. Things around me, for so many people that I care about, are going wrong. Very wrong. And still... I'd like some good news for me. I can't help it. I am human. I hope something starts to go my way soon. And for those around me as well. I care for them all so much and it breaks my heart to see them hurting... I guess it's part of what makes me hurt even more.